Please Don't

I was researching a bowl today. I came across this long-winded annoyance of a description. If you are an ebay seller, this would be a don't. Just fucking photograph the item clearly, describe the item, and make sure you disclose any flaws you see. That's all.

I love how she:
A. Buried the plagiarized(!) description in the middle of words words words.
B. Used someone else's description.
C. Talked about how she runs shit through the dishwasher. (with antique stoneware, that'd be a no).
D. Kinda whined about the cost of packing materials they are "quite expensive"...but she doesn't charge for them. OMFG, what a saint! I must buy NOW!

o    I do combine ship (as long as one item is not going to break another), but please wait for an invoice…DO NOT PAY. 

o    The more listings you purchase IN ONE DAY, the more you $ave on shipping. (EBAY RATES SELLERS HIGHER IF THEY SAY & IF THEY SHIP IN ONE DAY.) 

o    If the shopping cart does not work properly, I will refund appropriate amount for combined shipping.

o    I do not charge a handling fee even though peanuts, 2 sizes of bubble wrap, gathering Styrofoam from businesses, ink, paper, etc. are quite expensive.

o    Condition:  (See condition/cleaning/safety below.) Good to Excellent for age.  I PURCHASED IT FROM AN EBAY SELLER WITH THE DESCRIPTION THAT I AM GIVING YOU WHICH INCLUDED HERE & CONDITION/CLEANING/SAFETY BELOW.  Also using information from current, experienced sellers of antiques, etc.  "Beautiful early 15" Yellow ware 3 stripe bowl.  There are 12 pictures for you to view so that you can see all of the bowl.  These early bowls are very eye appealing and display beautifully.  They can be used as well.  This one has all the tell tale signs of being an early one as well as hand made with its three marks on the inside where the kiln stand was placed while being fired and no seams from a mold.  Not many production issues with this one either.  There are some glaze pops and hair lines but nothing real noticeable or problematic.  Has very nice clean design lines that many others don't have.   Thick and two narrow brown stripes."

o    Please see photos.  I DON’T KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT ANTIQUES, BUT IF I LIKED THEM, I BOUGHT THEM.  BUT NOW I AM MOVING AND I DON’T HAVE ROOM (see last photo(s) FOR ALL THAT I PURCHASED.  SO IF YOU SEE ANY ERRORS IN MY LISTING, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW….ESPECIALLY BEFORE YOU MAKE A PURCHASE.  I did download the partial descriptions when I purchased them on ebay.

o    This price is for set of 1 bowl....Antique 15" Brown 3 stripe yellow ware pottery mixing bowl ONLY.  INSURANCE, TRACKING, & SAFE PACKING WILL BE PROVIDED.

o    Approximate overall measurement:   15.5" X 7.5"

Thank You for Looking and Happy Bidding!!!

CONDITION/CLEANING/SAFETY

o    I purchased all of these items on my mom's ebay account before I got my own ebay account from a seller that purchased the items from Estate Sales and Auctions.  So I am going to use their statement pertaining to the antiques and vintage pieces.  “Items are described as accurately as possible.  However, I do not pretend to be an expert and each item should be considered “AS IS” with no guarantees.  Given the nature and uniqueness of many of the items, all sales should be considered final.  If you have any questions prior to the end of the sale, please message me and I will do my best to respond.”

o    This item is in very good condition overall! It is not without some condition issues, but considering its age it should be expected.  Please understand before you buy that this is antique stoneware, and was made in a very primitive manor. They were never perfect even when first made, and these flaws are what makes each and every piece unique. Now combine the fact that most pieces are over 100 years old, being made in the late 1800's to early 1900's flaws should be expected.

o    PLEASE LOOK AT ALL IMAGES AS THEY ARE A PART OF THE DESCRIPTION.

o    Additional photos can be sent to your personal email address.  (Light areas may = bad photography.)

o    Imperfections may be missed.  See photos.  I, as a seller, & you, as a collector of pottery/stoneware, etc. know that no 2 pieces are produced alike i.e. variations in color, design variations, factory abnormalities specks/flecks/glazed over spots/indentions, etc.  May be scuffing marks on bottoms from movement, storage, or display or utensil marks.  It is also very common with stoneware of this age to see stone pops, chips, hairlines, staining etc. So understand these details and your expectations before purchasing.

 

o    Sometimes I sell for friends, relatives, & neighbors that do not use ebay.

o    Items are maintained in a smoke-free & pet-free environment.

o    Items sometimes dishwasher cycled, hand-washed, or wiped clean, but possible for me to miss areas.  I will leave the finer details to you. Sometimes excessive cleaning especially with certain products will do more harm than good.

o    Please note & adhere to safety:  Some packages may contain very small pieces & packaging material that may be harmful to very small children, i.e. choking hazard, suffocating, etc.

PAYMENT/PACKAGING/HANDLING/SHIPPING 

o    Prompt Payment, please WHENEVER OUR ENTIRE TRANSACTION IS COMPLETED.

o    Ship out usually 24-48 hours of cleared payment &/or response to questions IF YOU HAVE NOT ASKED ME TO WAIT FOR YOU TO PURCHASE ANOTHER ITEM.  Will email you if different. 

o    I have no control over carrier delivery schedule. 

o    In order to participate in the recycling effort, generally use all types of boxes.  Item factory boxes do not have enough space for additional packing material and are not strong so most of the time are packed within the outside mailing box.

o    Items are packaged to insure security of the purchased items & I try to closely adhere to USPS/UPS packaging & packaging material regulations/specifications. I sometimes insert free gifts as long as the gift does not move the pkg. into the next pound.

CONTACT, FEEDBACK, RETURNS, ITEMS BROKEN OR LOST BY CARRIERS

o    Please e-mail me with any questions prior to bidding, requests, or issues thru ebay mail --not thru feedback.  

o    If you do not have any issues, I would appreciate positive feedback.  When you leave feedback, it lets me know that the transaction is complete & I will leave feedback for you. 

o    I would like to try to maintain 100% feedback.

o    I always hope that the buyer is satisfied, but ebay requires that sellers state a return policy.  Returns and contact regarding return within 7 days only if description is grossly inaccurate. 

o    My goal is for you to get items that you spent time on purchasing as safely & as quickly as possible without having to spend time wondering why your items have not shipped, initiating buyer/seller non-issue/issue contacts, responding to ebay & carrier cases/claims, etc. 

o    I strive to package to eliminate broken items during shipment, but please contact me before leaving feedback if this occurs.

o    I obtain tracking, (UPS provides) but if item is lost, please contact me & we will follow the necessary procedures to insure that you are refunded. 

Etsy-Fied

After my run-in last December with the doll crazy, I abandoned my Etsy shop.

I felt annoyed that I got burned, and annoyed that my only response from Etsy was to "contact the buyer" frig that. She's obviously got a stick up her arse about something and I am not dealing with that. So I left them sitting on ice for a month and dilly-dallied paying my bill to stick it to them.

It was petty, but then, so was the feedback I was left.

Today, I took a good look at my listings there and examined what has sold, and what I actually like dealing with. Thinking of shitcanning the doll aspect totally. I am fed up with crazies.

Narrowed my product line down to sewing related goods, antique china, a few vintage toys, hats, purses, gloves. I also like all things french, it's in my blood, what can I say?

I enjoy these things, and don't mind dealing with them. They are mostly low-end or hard sales, so I can afford to have them sit for awhile before selling but I also have the added assurance that my armoire can be emptied out slowly over time because I will finally be doing something about it.

So, over the course of the next few days, I am going to start my revamp, a few things at a time. I am also going to move my shipping time out from 1-2 days to 2-3, to give me time to track down an item that may have gotten moved. I am also going to add the shipping cost to smalls and offer free shipping. I feel like this is a good start point.

Comeuppance

Finally! Finally, my blocked bidders list has paid off. I got this message the other day about a doll I am selling for my friend:

Hi 

Do the items have a smokey moldy or strange smell? 
Does the doll have any missing fingers or toes? green ears? missing hair plugs? deep scratches? body stains? swingy limbs? Neck splits? facial defects? Thanks 
Do the clothes have any stains or tears? missing snaps? holes? etc. Are they marked Tressy?
Are the shoes marked Japan? 

Thanks

All red flags hoisted on this one. The username looked very familiar to me, and so I checked my ever-growing blocked bidder list and sure enough she was on it. I could not figure out for the life of me what it had been about, but assumed (correctly) that she had bought some of John's barbie clothes off of me. I didn't answer her questions, but I did edit the description of the doll. Today I get this:

Hi Why are you blocking my bids? Thanks I go into feedback and see her name attached to some feedback for....drumroll please...one of John's Barbie outfits. I recall her then. (This is an excerpt from "Hot Live Euro Trash", January 22, 2015) Hi I received your package today and I am disappointed. The dress is very worn at the bust and is not as blue as your picture. Also the other shoe is marked Hong Kong. This means that It does not go with this . I Bought this because I thought it was a complete set. ( I had an extra correct black shoe). I now have to purchase a pair of black shoes. I can not return this because I bought it for my daughter's upcoming birthday. ( This Wednesday) Please advise. Total BS. The dress I sent was nearly mint. Dark blue with no holes. I did not examine the shoes closely enought to see country of origin, because at that time I did not know how anal retentive Barbie collectors are about that stuff. I also was quite in love with the "I cannot return this" schtick. (She paid $9.50 with shipping being free - so she in actuality paid about $6.50 for the outfit - I refunded the whole thing so she would just fuck off, then blocked her) So I wrote a reply: The barbie outfits I sell, I do on consignment for a friend. They are not mine. He buys cases crammed full of clothes. I do some research to see what color/pieces goes with what outfit. I check for flaws and holes. That is all. I am not a collector. I do the best I can as a non-collector of these items. I had no idea about markings on shoes or anything like that. All I knew was that I had a pile of shoes and this or that outfit came with that particular color. As I recall, you bought one of those barbie outfits some time ago and complained about it. Something about one shoe being marked Hong Kong and you wanted a refund. I asked you to return it, you said you would not. I refunded you anyway. I was not going to short my friend, so I lost money on that outfit. When things like that happen, I will block the buyer to prevent such a thing happening again. Straight to the point, and truthful. If she tries to circumvent the system, or pulls any stunts I will come down on her like a pile of bricks. I will report her ass. Now I've got to keep an eye out for 0 feedback bidders for the next 12 hours...fun. Her reply (and I find it amusing that she thinks herself an excellent buyer, I am sure the sellers she has burned would disagree heartily): I am an excellent ebay buyer. Sometimes a seller makes a  Mistake in the description.  As a buyer I don't buy items to Return them. My purchases are Gifts for my daugther so It hard To return. Usually a seller works with me by issuing a partial  Refund to replace the misrepresented  item.  Have a nice day.  Yes, "excellent buyer" you count on some poor schmuck making a mistake in their description so that you can get freebies and discounts. "Hard to return"? How so? You can't return it and buy the so-called "correct" item from someone else before showing it to your probably fictional "daugther"? Instead you'd rather take money from my family, and my friend and his family because it might inconvenience you to pop something into an envelope and return it (on MY dime anyway). Seems fair to me. It amazes me how far someone can shove their head up their asshole sometimes.

Payne In The Ass

I sold a playset. Said playset was made of masonite. After he bid on  the damned thing, the high bidder sends this message:

does the Masonite floor have all corners intact and not broke up?

He did not pay until I sent him a message confirming that it was not "broke up".

The other two deadbeat assholes from earlier this week still predictably haven't paid. They've been added to the ever-growing blocked list. I really wish you could send a bill via paypal for all the time these idiots waste. I have ZERO patience for this kind of shit.

 

Winners!

Got me a couple of winners this week again. They seem to come in batches. One bid on some heavy expensive candle holders. He hasn't paid. UPI is about to launch.

This other asshole begs me to put a buy-it-now on an item. I tell him I have other people interested, not going to happen. He bids. Today I get a message from him with a day and a half left on the auction:

  Hi There! I am considering to buy this toy, I'll get back to you if I would like to buy it. Thx

Um...seeing as you've bid, and are the high fucking bidder, you'd better bet you're going to buy it or your 0 feedback account will immediately have an unpaid strike on it. I am thisclose to cancelling his bid and blocking him, or just blocking him and hoping someone else outbids his ass.