A Quiet Place

 Ebay had been quiet as of late. No idiots, no returns, no complaints. This past couple of months, shit has been ramping up. 

First was a Barbie. The buyer first offered me a basement dwelling shit price. I accepted because I am overrun with dolls and I wanted it gone, it was still a few dollars profit. A couple of days after he got it he sent a message "the arms don't move when you press the button". Okay fine. I had tested the doll and the arms did move down when you moved them up, but apparently when he plays with his fuckin doll he wants the arms to move with the button. So I refunded his money because fuck it. I paid $1. 

Next was the strangest buying experience I've ever had. Guy had a lot of 4 dolls according to the title, but pictured 12. One picture had 3, one had 4, and one had 5. I assumed it was either choice or he made a mistake and it was the picture with 4. Either way, I'd have been fine with it. 

Next day he messages me: "I put in there 4 for 30 I had several you never responded on what ones you wanted and they have now all sold"

I am like "Okay, but you never messaged me" I checked his sold items and I am the only buyer. WTF. I ask to cancel because he told me he fucking sold them. It's 5 days in now and he fucking REJECTS the cancellation. He mails nothing in the meantime. 

Now I gotta wait several MORE days. It took 11 days and a strike against his seller account to get my money - I've had fuckers get instant refunds from me on way flimsier premises. I'm not about to leave a negative because I know from experience that leaving negatives will get you on block lists, lol, and I do buy too. I'll just be happy he got a strike for being an idiot. 

My kid has decided to start selling things he comes across. Last week I sold a mechanical clock for him. We tested it using one of our keys. Usually I will let one of my extra keys go with clocks I sell if they don't have one, but this was a specially sized larger key so I said in the listing "Please note, does not come with a key". 

Bitch has it 2 days and then last night opened a return bitching that there is no key and that "It doesn't keep time" her "proof" was a picture of a digital clock saying 7:21 and my clock showing like 6:30. 

Fucking dumbass. You can manually move the clock hands to say what you want. It proves nothing. Plus, if you didn't have a key, how the fuck do you know that it's not functioning correctly? It might need winding or a speed adjustment. I took a screenshot of the description circling the part where I say "No Key" in red and then tell her that the clock ran when it left here and it might need adjustment. 

God damn. I looked her up and she's a fucking Realtor. How would you feel if some asshole didn't read your listing and wanted extra because they didn't read, bitch?

Not only that, it gives me the feeling that she "rented" the clock for staging a house or something. Who knows, but in any case, if you don't know how a mechanical clock works, perhaps don't buy one. 

This morning I had another dumbass message me asking to cancel a $95 purchase they made by "accident". They now reside on my block list. 

Calvin k-LIE-n

 I have this dumb sweater I am obsessed with. I bought the first version of it at a thrift store for $1.00. It's a nice wool Calvin Klein brand. So anyway, I collect this same sweater in different colors. I realize that I am a weirdo, yes.

I have it in green, black, and grey. I saw one for sale in my same state and it was new with tags. It was a little pricey but I did not have this color of it yet. I bought it and the next day the seller gives me the lame excuse that she dropped it in oil in her garage and cancels - giving the reason for cancellation that I asked to cancel. I did not. Not only that, she FUCKING relisted it with no "oil" mentioned in the description. 

As a seller, I have had to cancel before, however, I have told the buyer the REAL reason for cancelling - broken, lost, and then taken the hit by saying "out of stock" because that shit's on ME. I have also not gone on to relist any of the things. 

So, against my code, which is to defend sellers to the death, I went and fucking reported her to ebay for the false cancellation. I ain't taking the hit on my buyer account that I am a flake, because I am not. Don't sell me some line of bullshit and then make it look like it's on me. And that's my Ted Talk for today.

Fuckin Hello Kitty and Other Musings

 I "sold" a purse we've had sitting around for years. I looked it up and saw that the last two had sold north of $500. I need money - sooooo I listed it. I used the auction feature because I needed the money sooner rather than later and an auction will speed things along - provided the fucker who wins, pays on time.

There were 2 bidders at first. The bidding behavior of the 0 feedback bidder threw red flags and left a bad taste in my mouth. Each time the other bidder would bid, this one would counter, every time and almost immediately. So of course she won - of course she did.

Within minutes of the auction end: 

Would it be possible if I pay the bid next week when I get paid if that’s ok with you? :)

Uh, no. 

I felt like writing the GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL soliloquy to her: 

"Why did you not ask this 5 FUCKING DAYS AGO?"

"I listed this fuckin thing right NOW, because I have a bill due right NOW" 

"If your boss asked you if you were okay waiting an extra week to get paid, would you think that is acceptable?" 

and then finally: 

"If you walk into any store brick and mortar or online and ask them to hold something for you for a week, do you think they would?"

Instead, I remained silent and planned to cancel after 4 days, and let that do the speaking for me. I did that. But not before I got a weird message from someone else:

"Hii if the buyer never buys this bag can I purchase it for $200"

Uh, no. Sure, Jan. What makes you think I would turn around and take a nearly $200 hit? 

This person was either a dumbass, or the buyer pulling a stunt thinking that maybe if she didn't pay, then I would turn around in desperation and sell it to her for that...lol. 

In any case, I blocked both the "buyer" and the weirdo mystery offerer, cancelled at the stroke of midnight on the 4th day, relisted, and raised the price nearly $100 (I call it the stupid tax) and now I am requiring immediate payment to circumvent further stupidity. Since I had to borrow money to pay the bill - and now it's paid, there is no more urgency to sell right away so now I can let the fucker sit until it sells for what it should. 

Joo-Lee The Girl Of my Fuckin Dreams

The rule of thumb holds that once an item becomes a problem, it's always a problem...I bought a lot of dolls at a toy auction in December. There were 7. 

As a side note, one of the dolls was named "Julie" I hate this name because it is the nickname of the girl my husband tried to run off with. I knew this fucker would be trouble.

As I am packing the doll, I notice her right eye is a little winky - the eye won't close immediately upon being laid down - you had to shake her. It was 4 days before Christmas so I did not want any delays and took my chances. Bad idea. 

"I am sorry, but this is a deal breaker" says the buyer - on Christmas Eve. The doll takes forever to return, so meanwhile I have to make sure that $40 stays available, which sucks at this time of year. I finally get the bitch back, refund, watch a You Tube video, pop out the eye, realize that there is a tiny bar that holds the eye straight that has broken off. I drill the eye, pop a hairbrush bristle into the hole where it broke off and pop it back in. Eye was fixed in basically 10 minutes.

I relist and then get two shitty lowball offers. As I was rejecting them, I realize that I forgot to mention a ghostly pale ink mark on the doll's lower jaw. I revise.

Item Description:

"Julie. Hair is in good shape. Clean and in good shape with tight limbs. Comes from a non smoking home. Eyes open and close as they should. Has a faded spot of ink underneath her left cheek near her chin. She is a newer version. No clothing."

This morning's dumb question:

 Hi! Do you have the cute jeans and peace sign shirt and yellow vest too with this doll? Thanks!

The doll's title says "Ready to Dress". The doll is pictured naked. The description says "No clothing". 

Lady, what the fuck. 

I answer straight up - "No".

I look at the feedback, there is none. Given the stupidity of the question and the no feedback, I block. I am sure this is not the end...The end.

Say Hello To Your....CEO....Ally

 December has been jam packed with bullshit. I got a hair across my ass to search for the ponies that "Jennifer" from Winnipeg "bought" from me. Right on Etsy - in front of the whole world - the dumb bitch has all my shit for sale, shipping from Winnipeg, of course.

One of the MIB items had distinct and unique damage to it - and the damage matched the one that was stolen from me perfectly. Apparently "Jennifer" is actually "Ally" and sells a lot of pony merch - probably most of which was stolen through bogus cases she opens under aliases.

The kicker was when I sifted through her other merchandise and saw the ponies she used as "evidence" in her case against me. A fuckin' kindergartener could solve this case, but Etsy keeps giving me canned answers and trying to prompt me to pay "my" bill. I sent a complaint directing them to her shop and pointing out that the boxes match exactly, the merchandise matches, etc - canned response and "pay the bill".

I've sifted through their executive list and found out how to contact what I like to refer to as a "final boss". 

When my mortgage company attempted to screw me over in 2011, I was like a dog with a bone. I did not let it go, and I followed the trail of who to contact until I got real help - IE, the final boss.

It's not just the $200 worth of merchandise I was ripped off - it's that 1/3 of my income stream is now gone and also that this bitch is selling stolen shit and getting away with it. I won't let her.

I messaged her right after I found my shit: "This stuff looks REALLY familiar, "Jennifer". I'll let her sweat for awhile. She's lucky Canada post is on strike or maybe someone might "buy" something from her and then file a case.

Edit: 

Checked the bitch's shop on Etsy this past week and she is no longer selling. I don't know if she closed up to avoid me or my reports to Etsy paid off. In any case, she had to take down over 400 items and tank an account with 4,000 feedback. At the very least, she has been inconvenienced. At best Etsy fucked her over. Good. Fuck her. Karma is a bitch.

Officer Big Sally

 Ebay has been slow. I practically hear crickets each time I open the page to check sales. Yesterday, there was a small amount of life in that I sold a vase and some American Girl crap. 

This morning I go to check messages and see this request:

"Hi, Can you add the year 2001 on the title? Thanks"

The item in question is a plush. The item in question was only made in 2001, so there would be no mistaking it for any other one produced and in the description I show a close up of the tag on said item clearly showing "2001". She made no offer, just sent the dumb message.

Who the hell is this bitch? Why does she care what I use for a title? Is she the cops? I looked at her feedback left for others and there is some high falutin neutrals left for several sellers accusing them of not sending shit or sending the wrong shit. I blocked her so fast I got whiplash...lol

Edit: I accepted an offer from someone else that very afternoon and said plush, still not marked 2001 went away - today I was left good feedback. The End.

F is for Failure

 So I continue to fight Etsy. Last week the BBB sent me a message saying that Etsy was not responding and that they were going to close the case and if a miracle happens and I get a resolution (hahaha) to get back in touch to inform them.

I went and checked the page for Etsy. It is now an F rating and they are not accredited any longer. The reason being that they now, as of several days ago, have not responded to 27 cases, mine being one of them.

I have appealed  at least 6 times, several for the suspension and several for the case opened on me, they just circle me around to file another appeal, which leads exactly nowhere. Massachusetts AG sent me a letter basically telling me that my case is too small potatoes for them to bother with, sorry.

I have yet to hear from NY AG. Etsy continues to whine about my "late payment" when I check the site. I hope this $130 they want from me so badly for shit that was fucking delivered as promised is worth the $2000+ in fees yearly they'll be missing out on. I am sure that they won't be getting very much from Miss Jennifer's non-purchases. You chose wrong Etsy.

Charley offered me to use his name on a new account but I won't be doing business with them again unless they refund me, remove the slander from my ratings and hire a new CEO that isn't so worried about sucking off shareholders by implementing stupid policies that drive business away.

Fuck them.