Turkey Basted

I set up a new evil-bay account. I jump through all the requisite hoops, only 10 items a month, 24 hour shipping, 21 day wait for payment. I sell some dinnerware to help Master (my mother-in-law, don't ask where that nickname came from, lol) out and,...drumroll please...an idiot buyer strikes again, but not before a comedy of errors that apparently only happen to me.

Buyer pays. I attempt to print out the shipping label, and get an error message saying to pay using my poo-pal account. Well, ASSHOLES, my money is on HOLD. I don't have $69 in my bank account...any of them.

Since my phone needs minutes and a charge, I e-mail poo-pal requesting they release shipping funds only from the transaction. I get a response saying to call. I charge my phone, log in to my Virginmobile account and top-up. I keep trying to dial out and get the snotty-toned "I'm sorry you have to top-up" message. I call them and get an Indian outsource who keeps insisting that I put $20 more on it. I write them a pissy e-mail and get a form e-mail regurgitating what the indian guy said.

Fuckin' A. I e-mail poo-pal again, I explain that I have NO phone access at this time. By this time, the turkish buyer is pissing and moaning about "When will I ship?" I tell him I am having problems with evil-bay shipping, please be patient. poo-pal responds..."Call evil-bay customer service, here's the phone number" Did I not just tell them I HAVE NO PHONE ACCESS?

The turkish guy gets all pissy and wants me to cancel the transaction, I refund his money and then cancel. He is out nothing but $109 for 24 hours...he leaves me a negative. There goes my feedback. I hate people.

Screwed Over On The Evilbay Highway To Hell

I am learning the many ways that the unnamed one screws over a "noob" seller. First, when you start a new account there, you are allowed only 10 auctions a month.
Poo-pal does the requisite holding of the funds. This is usually until 3 days after the item has shown up as delivered, but it can be up to 21 days. You just TRY calling your mortgage company and telling them "Sorry. I've got the money, but it's on hold. Thanks for your patience" - lol.

Recently, I've also found that if you sell internationally, be prepared to have enough in your bank account to cover costly foreign shipments, because you WILL be footing the entire bill until poo-pal decides to release the funds, if it doesn't get delivered, or your buyer pulls a fast one...Oh well. Too bad for you.

Yes. They now are not releasing shipping funds. They will allow you to fund up to $15 or 30% of the item cost if it exceeds $15, on "credit" that's it, the rest is on you. By credit, I mean they allow you to be "billed later" which causes more unforseen problems when the transaction was a month ago, and they suddenly decide it's time to be paid, you've forgotten because it's been so long, but Bank of America is ever-so-happy that you did...lol

So, in short, the poor guy who bought my mother-in-laws dishes had to wait around for two days while I went back and forth with idiots who cannot seem to grasp the fact that because of Virgin Mobile, right now new seller Amy is phoneless and unable to contact them via phone...since they conveniently don't have an e-mail address. The guy paid me nearly $70 for shipping, but since they won't release it, and I don't happen to have that amount lying around to blow on shipping, I had to refund him and cancel the transaction.

How that company has continued to prosper with business practices like this, I'll never know. Not only are they missing out on a shitload of fees that they used to get from "smalltime" sellers when they get banned for stupid reasons, but they are probably costing themselves countless fees from newer sellers that are forced to cancel transactions when they can't foot a huge shipping bill.

Ebay's Bitter Barista

Yes. They come in waves. You'll get 100 good customers, a handful of great ones and then you get the know-it-alls and the idiots. Last week was a guy that bid on some antique brackets.

On my auction terms I say "payment within 3 days, please" I send him an invoice, no response, I wait 3 days, send him another invoice, no response.

2 days after the 2nd invoice, I send the 2nd bidder a 2nd chance offer, she accepts and pays...then the next morning, the first idiot pays. Not only does he pay, he also instructs me to send the thing to an unverified address in UAE, his payment address states Germany. Uh-uh. I refund him immediately, and send him a request to cancel transaction, he agrees, then a couple of days later he leaves me a negative. He could not be bothered to respond to two invoices in 6 days, but he sure as hell took time to shit on my feedback as soon as he possibly could. ARGH! I call ebay. They said that even though there was no transaction he's entitled to leave his opinion about it. Since I am a seller, I am not, and the feedback won't be removed either. I hate their policies. HATE them.

Today I get militant light shade buying man leaving me a packing message. I have done this for 14 years. I have yet to get a negative about my packing .

"Please,please wrap good. LOts of stuff coming n broken. USPS "do" drop & toss!!!Shippin big strong box keep awayfrom "bottom"- sides really helps. Tape not wrapping material. Peanuts & Bubble wrap R. Walmart bags not.tks, Matt"

I get that he doesn't want his shit broken, but I don't like unsolicited "tutorials" I know how to ship a light fixture, dude.

Then, there's Miss I-Want-To-Cancel-My-Bid-Even-Though-I-Won-The-Item. It pisses me off when people bid on shit and then turn around and don't want it, we sellers still get charged a fee even if we don't get paid because there was a bid! I sent her a "cancel transaction" notice so that I can get my fees back. UGH.

Hole In The Bucket

Last night I see "Messages (1)" above my ebay dashboard, and think "Here we go again" Yup. I sent a suitcase to somebody in Oregon, they were not happy with how I packed it, and wanted a 30% refund. I told them I've shipped 4 or 5 suitcases in the same manner, and never had a problem til now but refunded it. Argh.

Another Fuckin' Love Song

Ah ebay. Bastion of idiots. I love thee.
This idiot bought a 300+ piece Polly Pocket lot, including 8 playsets and various dolls and clothes pieces. I charged her $15 and change because on pre-weigh in the box weighed 14 pounds.

When I packed the box, it weighed 16 pounds, but I did not like how flimsy it seemed, so I bought another box to double box it with. It cost me $2.77. When I went to the post office it cost me ANOTHER $2.29 because the box was 4 pounds overweight. Meanwhile the woman bitched and moaned about "Where was her box?" I know from experience that people like that are just looking for shit to bitch about.

Then, last night I get this e-mail:
"why did you charge me so much for shipping when it only cost 2.29 to ship because you went parcel post.which is why it took so long to get here.they don't send it out until a truck is filled with parcel mail which takes a week or more.am i going to get the other 13 dollars back?"

This idiot thinks I mailed a 20 pound box from Mass to Indiana for $2.29. Yup.

I reply with:
"No. It cost me an EXTRA $2.29. When your weight is off at the post office they charge you there and add the extra postage sticker to the box. What you're seeing is the extra I paid.

It sure as heck costs more than $2.29 to ship a 20 pound box! It also cost me $2.77 for the extra box for the double boxing. It cost around $22 to ship that lot."

And as for your parcel post concern, If I had sent that box priority, I would have had to charge over $30 for shipping and depending on your zone it may have cost an extra $30 surcharge for an oversize parcel. You can look it up on USPS.com. From zipcode 0---- to your zipcode, 20 pound package.

Apparently the bitch is not only dumb, but also illiterate.
Reply:
"but it still only cost 2.29 to ship?and if you do have to pay 30 to ship it then you put 30 on the listing.i have been a dealer for 15 years (not all on ebay) but when you put up 15 dollars shipping and it cost 2.29 to ship it is wrong of you as a seller.when you can start 50 listings a month out at any price you want and put the shipping charges up also so that the buyer is not taken advantage of."

I had enough. My dad just got admitted to the hospital with high blood pressure and kidney failure, I had to deal with my mother-in-law getting cocked and falling on her ass and injuring herself on the sidewalk costing me a shipping day, AND had to drive her to work at 5AM twice, and overslept when I got home, when I should have been doing ebay...Fuck YOU lady.

I sent her a picture of BOTH receipts. The one from the printed slip and the one with the $2.29 added on by the PO. Then I reported her to ebay as harrassing me with unreasonable demands; I.E. Wanting me to ship a 20 pound box for $2.29. I also called them and got everything on record.

As expected, yesterday, the 6th, the bitch left me a neutral feedback STILL insisting that I charged $15 for shipping and only paid $2.29. I called ebay and had a lengthy conversation with one of their script-reading outsources about removing it, since it was a blatant lie, because she is dumber-than-a-box of rocks if she really believes I paid $2.29.

I am going to log into my old account from someone's else house and get her user ID. NOBODY should have to deal with her.

As Ebay Turns

Again I am faced with a couple of idiots. I am really hating ebay's reforms of the past few years. I wish I could leave appropriate feedback when a buyer deserves it. One bought a stack of quilt appliques. She paid the day before Thanksgiving. Sunday she e-mails me asking have I sent her stuff? Where's the tracking number (now that there is making an assumption because she didn't PAY for it). I tell her I am mailing it Monday, and that the number will be uploaded when I print shipping. Monday night she e-mails me with a bitchy tone asking what the tracking number is. I've printed the goddamned shipping. The number should be right in front of her dumb ass. I send it.

The other bought a lot of Polly Pocket crap. It was over 300 items including 8 playsets and she paid a grand total of $24 for all of it. She paid on the day before Thanksgiving.

I go to auctions on Wednesdays, and so I don't do any intensive packing those days and this package wound up taking an hour of my life...so I made plans to ship it on Friday. A bunch of holiday related and inconvenient shit happened so I then make plans to send Monday.

Mind you, I specify 3 BUSINESS days on my auctions. Thursday, Saturday and Sunday don't count. She e-mails me Sunday night bitching about it. I print the shipping on Monday and pack it, then realize that the box needs reinforcing, and plan to hit Wally for a bigger one to double box it. So I shoot for Tuesday.

I see that Phil's car won't start on facebook Tuesday. I check my phone to see if he needed a ride. I see 2 phone calls from my father-in-law. I call back. He says Phil needed a ride and he got one from somebody, but not before my soused mother-in-law decided it would be a good idea to walk to me and Charley's. She's only been here 3 times, she sits in the house all day and never goes anywhere, so she doesn't know her way around. It's 3:30. She's been missing since 12:45. I take a ride to look for her, Sheldon walks around looking for her. I go to their house and we mail our other shit. Charley goes to the police station, and they tell him his mother is at the hospital. By the time they bring her home (with my car) it's after 5...too late to send the goddamned Polly Pocket.

Today I get another impatient e-mail bitching that the tracking number shows I haven't brought it to the post office.

How do you tell an impatient asshole that Sorry, you had to deal with Thanksgiving and the residual BS from it, and a drunk ass mother-in-law who wanders off and busts her face on a sidewalk so your car was in use all day so you weren't able to mail her precious toys? I am only one day out from my 3 business day handling time.

I don't want her to blast her and tell her "You paid like 1 cent a piece for each item. People...even ebay sellers...have LIVES. You bought the item right before a holiday/holiday weekend...take a fuckin' chill pill already"

Another Love Song

This woman was clearly nutty. When I read her feedback later another seller left a note saying that he thought she was loopy. Is there one literate person bidding on ebay today? All caps. Accuses me of being a liar. Can't spell worth shit. I called ebay. They read my description back to me and told me if she opens a case, I don't have to worry. I am going to sit back and watch the fireworks. LOL.


Subject: Item I received is not as described:

Sent Date: Nov-06-12 11:03:05 PST
Dear______, these are in horrible condition, the strap on the white bag is almost completely cut in half and will not last if anyone carries it and this is NOT LISTED IN YOYUR DESCRIPTION ANYWHERE ALSO HWRE THE STRAP ATTACHES IS ALMOST READY TO BREAK ON THE WHITE BAG. I AM VERY UOSET WITH THIS PURCHASE MINT????? WHAT A JOKE, I WANT TO RETURN THESE AND GET THE RETURN SHIPPING AS WELL, AS IT IS NOT MY DOING THAT YOU LIED ABOUT THE DISCRIPTION, I ONLY BOUGHT DUE TO YORU MINT COMNDITION THAT YOU SAID THEY WERE..."( I WILL WAIT TIL TOMORROW BEFORE OPENING A CASE.
 

My reply:
Item description copied and pasted from the original. Asterisks added in order to point out flaws I clearly described:  

This is a pair of *used* vintage Dooney and Bourke drawstring bucket bags. They are both made from pebbled leather. The interiors are suede. The strap is adjustable and they can probably used as crossbody bags. Being used, *they do have some wear*, mostly concentrated on the drawstrings. They both have *wear to the fringe* and the white one *has some gouges in the drawstring* from it getting caught on the grommet. The white one could also use a cleaning. They *aren't* in mint condition, but still have some useful life in them. They are very durable bags.

*NOT IN MINT CONDITION* was clearly stated. Gouges in drawstring, also clearly stated.

The saga continues: I knew the bitch would open a case, even though her blatant stupidity was pointed out to her in black and white:

Subject: Re: Item I received is not as described: _____ sent a message about Pair of Vintage Dooney and Bourke Drawstring Bucket Bag Purse
Sent Date: Nov-08-12 08:06
deciever is what you are you very well knew that the strap was alomost completely ripped and yet you still sold and stole money from and HONEST EBAYER, ME."

Then the case was opened and requisite negative feedback left...I responded with...


"It's not my fault you did not read the description thoroughly and then had buyer's remorse when you received exactly what was described.

What in the world would make you think that you're going to get two mint condition Dooney bags at a start price of $18.00? I called ebay about your possible case before you even opened it. I read your complaint message to a man named Miguel with customer service and he read the description on my auction in comparison and told me I will easily win any case you open.

Another thing. I don't take kindly to being accused of being a liar when I clearly stated these bags were USED and NOT MINT. These are unfounded accusations.You madam, are what's wrong with ebay lately. Name calling won't get you very far when you want a quick and friendly refund. If you had stated that you did not want the bags because you mis-read the description in NON caps without name-calling, I'd have refunded immediately. "

I then reported her ass to ebay for Buyer Protection Abuse and then called them and complained to someone in customer service about her. The woman on the phone told me that people like her don't like being told they're wrong and that sometimes you're forced to use the white kid glove AKA "The Kindergarten Treatment" on them. LOL.

A few minutes after I hung up I got a message from ebay saying case was closed, they gave the whiner a refund but did not touch my paypal account or ding my seller rating...IE, the case was pretty much judged in my favor. I just am a little pissed that she still got a refund and I am still stuck with her negative feedback.

Update: I logged into my account several days ago and the negative feedback just disappeared into thin air. There was no revision notation, so I know it was ebay's doing. OMG. They did the right thing for once! Okay, now I can say that once in awhile they do handle things correctly.
Her User ID was myguys58. Avoid her like the plague. She complains frequently and leaves negatives when she cannot extort you.