Northern Exposure/ Ghost in the Machine

Another Etsy "Ghost buyer".

Said potential buyers ask questions about an item, ask you to drop the price, sometimes ask you to put said item on hold, then they disappear, never to be heard from again. This one asked about some prints I have for sale. She asked if the signatures were dotted.

The signature on each is a different size and in different locations, if they were printed on, they would generally be identical and in the same locale. Two are on the lower left and are large, one is small and on the lower right, they are not identical.

I added though, that the glass on the frames, and paper they are printed on is textured, giving them a bumpy appearance when you look at them. I am sure this lone piece of info will deter her. I already have them listed at half of what I would really want for them, which is about what an unsigned one would be going for.

Etsy has been going to the dogs lately. It is getting worse than ebay, and the shitty once or twice a month $10 sales are not worth the trouble.

I am tired of negotiating, putting shit on hold, and getting burned over and over. I saw that ecommercebytes had an article that focused on Etsy getting a lot of Google exposure as of late. I think that as more asshole buyers jump ship from ebay, the more they seem to defect to Etsy.

The bitch I gave the refund to was Exhibit A.

Even an ebay buyer will usually go away quietly once you refund them in full. I could have photographed my son's hospital bracelet as evidence of why my communication was "slow", told her "the fucker wasn't scanned - not my fault, I mailed it, and too bad!" and went on with my life, but NOOOO. I had to go taking the high road, lost some money, and instead of being happy she got her money back, the bitch decided to trash my feedback instead.

Some People Are Never Happy No Matter What

This may well become my new mantra in resale. I sold a stupid doll (of course, a doll loony) on Etsy. It was the week before Christmas, so I was right in the thick of Christmas BS. I noticed the sale a few days after it happened, and notified her that I would be sending it that weekend.

Meanwhile, my son gets the flu and an ear infection. I spend a day at the doctor's, and Christmas Eve at the ER because of his reaction to the antibiotics. I spent half of Christmas day at the only pharmacy that was open 11 miles away, where I had to pay out-of-pocket for the meds after waiting two hours because they could not reconcile the birthday on their records with the ones the insurance company had.

I never had time to message her. I also didn't bother to check the tracking either, because, really, when your kid is sick and you have no fucking internet capable phone, you generally don't give a fuck about a $10 Etsy transaction, sorry. The doll was never scanned in and I told her that this has happened before with Etsy items. It NEVER happens with Ebay items, ever. The way those labels print out make them hard to scan at times, postal workers love that, believe me.

I refunded her in full, including shipping. This was my 1 star feedback:

The item was ordered and never received. Communication was slow & seller stated she has had similar issues of "sending" items and them not being received by customers. A refund was provided by seller. Not reliable service.

I have half a mind to send her pictures of my son's hospital bracelet and tell her "Here's the fucking excuse you want for my "slow" communication"

And as for the other two packages she mentions, I sent a message to each of the people once the item landed back on my porch a month after I sent them, asking them if they wanted a refund or me to send it to the CORRECT address. They never responded, and both items are still here, sealed in their original shipping boxes, stamped "No Such Number" and "Return to Sender" because the addresses provided were wrong. One's been here for a year. I feel weird reselling it, because someone bought it!

I'd like to know how are these things my fault?

What cracks me up is that she is apparently on a mission to damage my reputation, why? She's out exactly NOTHING. I am out merchandise and the money I paid for the label!

Return Trip

Whenever an item causes a problem, however minute, I know it is going to be a problem sale, even if the original pest was blocked and did not bid.

This clock is going the way of a soft sculpture Cabbage Patch doll I sold last year...nothing but headaches since I listed it.

First, there were the idiot questions, the blocking, the re-listing, the stalking from a blocked idiot.

Now an entirely different person wins the fucking thing and "The chime is broken, and the movement won't run" Whatever shall we do? When they ask for "suggestions" I know they are hoping for a partial refund, and since it will only cost me $5 to return ship that badboy, you bet your sweet ass I want the fucker back.

Sure. I shot off a message to return the fucking thing, but not before reiterating that the movement did in fact run when it left my doorstep. I will refund you upon receipt of item, can you print a label or shall I mail it etc etc?

If the clock truly is "broken" she should not have any qualms about returning it.

Update 1/16/16: I haven't heard from her since offering a return shipping label. Typical. I find that demanding the item back scares away some potential "partial refund" people who received the item as advertised but try to get a discount.

Clock Stalker

I waited a week to relist this dumb ass clock because I was trying to avoid my nutcase clock stalker. I get a message tonight and just know it is from him...he didn't disappoint.

In the message he bitches and moans about why is he blocked from bidding? I mull over telling him I think he's loony, and "Hey, I thought you could not wait 6 more days?" but I don't want to stoke his flames of weirdness. Trying to decide whether to play dumb and pretend like I didn't block his ass, or just ignore him totally.

I originally blocked him because he could not be bothered to read a description, I didn't think this was going to be an ongoing epic thing, lol.

Nutbush

This last clock I tried to sell, has been a pain in the arsehole in a big way. It attracts more idiots than a Lee Middleton doll, and that's saying something.

First:

Is this a working clock?

My description:

Vintage wooden mantel clock.

Case is in good shape, some tape residue on back near the door, but I was able to remove most with goo gone. Movement runs nicely. Has key and pendulum bob.

Face has a slight bit of wear to the silvering in the very middle (can be seen in pic), all numerals are present, hands are present. Glass is good. Chimes on the hour and half hour. Measures 20" x 9" x 5 3/4".

I reply to him:

"Movement runs nicely is pretty self-explanatory"

And then, because he could not be bothered to read one line out of a 5 line description, and those people always become trouble, I block him.

Next day I get this question about the same fucking clock. You can clearly see in the pictures that the fucker has no cord and two keyholes on front. Christ on a cracker!

  Does it plug in? Does it run on batteries? Can you turn the chime off? Is the chime loud?

I block that dumb bitch too. But not before I answer her stupid question and post it so that it will show in the bottom of the description so that people can see the stupidity I am forced to deal with.

Clock ends with no bidders (and no, I don't care that I may have blocked them, because these two are a special kind of stupid).

The guy immediately messages me all huffy:

And I really cannot wait 6 more days to try to buy it again

and then:

I was trying to bid on this it said seller decided not to sell it ?what's up with that

and then:

          If you decide you want to sell it can you put a buy it now price 

 

I can see from his feedback that all does is re-sell clocks, so I really don't give a fuck whether he can wait 6 days or not. He's competition, and he's an obnoxious fucktard so he can go fuck himself for all I care.

 

 

Guiding Light

My online sales soap opera continues. First was another Etsy time-waster. She first asked if I would knock a few bucks off the price and free shipping. That was a no.

Then I got this:

would you do 12.+ shipping for Black Friday?

I agree. I edit the listing to $10 and change the title to HOLD FOR. This was the 24th of November. I haven't heard from her since...

Then today on ebay I get this message from an ass who has already bid on the damned thing.

Does the dress have it's label? Do both the shoes have the knobs intact and the loops that go over the knobs not broken? Do the shoes or dress have any stains, rips or problems? Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,

Charley was like "Block her, block her NOW" I check her nitpicky feedback left for others, and then I do, but not before I see that she has already bid...fuck me. God, I hope she gets outbid.

As Ebay Turns...

This week on ebay...I had several deadbeats, as usual.

One of the deadbeats waited until the unpaid item case had almost closed on him. His feedback indicated that he seems to mostly bid on sportscards and sports-related crap. He bought an antique clock from me for $200+, which was rather odd...this put me on high alert.

I wrapped it in 3 layers of bubble wrap, I had 4 inches of peanuts around each edge. I reinforced the box corners. I insured the fuck out of that thing. I also shelled out an extra $20 for priority mail (he chose parcel).

I mailed the thing and waited for the inevitable "something is wrong" BS.

Ebay never disappoints. My message:

I received the mantle clock today.
Upon opening, I noticed that one of the front lion's foot has broken off and I could not find the piece in the package or box.
Your auction picture showed both front feet to be intact.
The broken section I observed looked to be new.
Please advise.
Thanks.

I like the accusatory "Your auction picture showed both front feet to be intact" so that he can accuse me of item not as described or something. Sure, asshole. I removed one foot from the front of the clock before mailing it. Makes a lot of sense. If it was broken in transit, the piece should be IN THE FUCKING BOX. It was held in with 2 screws also, so if they were kicking that box around and managed to remove a foot, there should have been way more damage.

I told him that when mailed, the clock had 4 feet. Then I sent another message and I asked for a picture, and informed him that I don't issue refunds unless the item is returned. I haven't heard from him since. This was 2 days ago.  No message, no case, no pictures. I am sure he is at the drawing board thinking of a new way to get a discount as I write.

Second deadbeat was almost amusing...I am not sure if what was written was true, or just the lamest excuse someone has bothered to dream up in a long time...

Message:

Good evening
My name is ______ and I am the husband of _______. She has purchased an item from you a few days ago. She recently was physically hurt and had her belongings taken. We had to cancel all and are waiting for new cards to come in which should be sometime this week. We apologize for the delay this has never happened to her before and she is pretty shakenrd up. We will keep you informed and pay the statement as soon as we receive new cards for new account. Thank you

If I got mugged, the last thing I would worry about was an ebay bid I had made.  If I was conscious, I would type the fucking e-mail myself. But I am not a delicate flower. I do my own business no matter what...deaths, illnesses, no car, you name it. I didn't know how to respond, so I did not. I just let the case close and blocked her as I do with all non-payers/scammers/weirdos.

Third Weird/Annoying thing. Message on Etsy. This is about a $14.00 hat with $7.00 shipping.

would you take 12. with shipping ??

I reply:

 It depends on your zip code. If you are anywhere west of the Mississippi, then it would cost almost as much to send it as the hat cost.

She's in Colorado, but apparently holds out hope because she sent me her zip code. Shipping is $7-$10, depending on how much weight the box will add.  No thanks. I am not taking $2.00-$5.00 for a vintage, rather expensive french hat. I cringed at charging $14.00! I felt like answering her and telling her that it isn't ebay...No "Best Offer" thank you very much.