How To Ship a "Baby"

Dolls sell really well. I don't know why this is, but they do.

If clocks weren't so damned hard to pack, I'd sell more of those, because at least clock collectors seem to be mentally stable most of the time.

I find that certain groups of doll people are batshit crazy. Lee Middleton and Cabbage Patch Kids soft sculpture people are especially nuts.

I had this lovey dovey God Bless You type ask about a doll. I photographed its hair for her when she asked (she signed off with Bless you!).

When she won it, also, cutesy note signed "Bless you". All lovey dovey and shit. When she got that fucker though, all bets were off...it was more like FUCK YOU. Quasi-negative left for me, "carelessly packed" but the doll was "beautiful"

I had committed the cardinal sin of not treating the doll as if it were a human baby. I put it in a "trash bag" (was a grocery bag) and admit I did cram it in the box rather tightly, but since I was charging an $8 flat rate to ship a 5 pound doll anywhere, I rather had to.

Doll sellers rejoice! I've got great news. I've created a tutorial for shipping Lee Middleton "babies" correctly. There will be no more confusion or 1-3 low star ratings for you if you follow this to the letter.

Grab whatever one of these that sold.

You swaddle it. There are You Tube videos to help you in case you don't know how.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Slw6NfLiX6U

The finished product should look like this:

Once you've swaddled it, you can never EVER put it in a bag. It's a "baby", remember?

Since a box is inhumane to "baby", you now book a flight. You can use any airline, Expedia might be a good way. Make sure you book a flight nanny, after all, it's a "baby", not a plastic and cloth inanimate object shaped like a human.

Once you've booked the flight, you bring it to the airport personally. You would not want "baby" alone at the airport, would you?

Make sure the little bastard has an in-flight movie to watch or the buyer might find out and accuse you of doll abuse.

Once at the airport, an Uber driver is on hand to pick-up and then hand-deliver "baby" to the buyer.

This way the "baby" never ever has to be squished in a cardboard box with no air holes, and you get the 4 star feedback (not 5, because you didn't swaddle it right, you fucking asshole GOD BLESS YOU!) you so richly deserve. All this should only cost $500 or so, which is a bargain. Make sure you don't charge the buyer full-price though or they'll feel ripped off and leave you a low star. $8.90 seems reasonable.

Another creepy video, in case the first one wasn't creepy enough...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhEFmEhzzmQ

Blocking Works

I just wanted to let you know that I tried to bid on the doll and it wouldn't allow me to, saying the seller wasn't accepting bids at this time or something like that.I called Ebay and they basically said to contact the seller .I was willing to pay a lot more than the bid ended in.I thought there must have been some sort of glitch in the bidding process.Do you have any more dolls like that, that you plan on selling.

Oh, it was no glitch, darling. It was me protecting my own carcass from a frivolous case/negative/soft positive.

The First Cut Is The Deepest

Baby yeah. The first victim of Amy's new "I ain't taking this shit" policy has been added to the blocked list.

Are there any scuff marks on the face ? Are there any marks on the cloth body? Does baby smell like smoke?

Undress the 3 layers of clothing on said "baby" and answer the questions.

Get "The feeling" and check feedback left for others. All positive, but nitpicky statements left on said positive feedback...repeatedly. As my daughter would say...Fuck that noise...I copy and paste the name and plop it in my ever-growing blocked bidder list. Won't be dealing with that asshole after-the-fact because now she won't be bidding.


 These were in "feedback left for others" They were all positives:

only used one time so far .It's ok. Have to use more for final opinion

 color not true red like photo. More a rust/wine mix.Not easy to match with

 item was mistakenly listed as a loving family dollhouse piano .Had to return it.

 received in good time. They were a bit soiled ,After washing they were fine.

You KNOW there were low-star DSRs left.

"Feedback left for others" is your friend. If you ever get "the feeling" about a potential buyer (if ebay doesn't decide to fuck sellers over further by blocking seeing it) you should always read it. It can save you some pain.

Carrot Jumping

I am not what you would call a "carrot jumper" I just happen to come by my TRS status by doing business in what I consider the "correct" way.

Be polite, and if people are unhappy with their shit, accept a return and refund or refund their money.

I thought I was not that attached to my discounts, but I was wrong.

Two imbecile buyers took me to a level of pissed off this week that I almost cannot comprehend. Of course, it doesn't help that I am in the middle of health problems that I am a little worried about. I don't divulge this to these buyers, but since the world revolves around them, who cares, right?

First was a pair of lamps. Buyer has them 2 or 3 days, then BAM! case opened. "Socket doesn't work" on one. Since they are only $15, I refund. I sent her a message, since she had only 23 feedback, to Please, contact your seller before opening a case, described what happens to defect rate, etc. Got an apologetic message back and thanks for the FYI. I apologized to her for the shitty lamp and we've moved on. She was a good egg...just inexperienced.

It would figure that the asshole who opened a "return request" on me today (without contacting me first, of course) would be from Massachusetts. She's nasty and rude. This is my home state, and I readily admit that it is the rudest most self-centric place on earth!

Before the auction ended she asked a question with a tone I was not fond of, I was hoping she would not bid and go away. Of course she won the item...of course she did.

Comments:

I asked a question prior to the end of the auction and based on your response I bid. you said I can tell you that all of the colored spools are silk with the exception of one large red heavy duty one. Silk spool count is in the 90 s. . there are a 25 silk thread spools. there are there are at least 57 spools that are cotton (mercerized is cotton thread). Since the silk thread do not number in the 90;s this is not as described. Since the mistake is yours I would like a refund of purchase price plus shipping plus return postage.

Nothing particularly nasty was actually said, but like the tone of her question, the tone of this is shitty and accusatory. You got 120 spools of thread for $42, bitch! That's a bargain no matter what kind of thread it is. My bad for thinking smooth, light, shiny thread was silk. I guess the close-up pics showing 5 and 6 at a time with the magnifying glass feature to help further wasn't enough for you. YOU COULD READ WHAT THE LABEL SAID ON EACH SPOOL! If you knew mercerized thread was cotton then perhaps you should not have bid! From now on, if anybody sends me a question with a tone I don't like, I am blocking them. if they've already bid, I am cancelling it, and then blocking them. 

Epilogue 8/31/15: I relisted the returned thread she won for $34 and sold it to another buyer who bid $104, won, and paid immediately. Been awhile. No complaints from new buyer. One man's trash is another man's treasure...