The Sadness Will Last Forever

I am up to $1400 in sales this week. So, of course, several people come out of the woodwork to piss me right the fuck off.

First is a woman who claims the vase I sent her is "too thick" and she wants to return it, but she of course does not want to pay for the return shipping. Not two minutes after I get done with my exchange with her, then someone has opened a case without contacting me first.

A box I sent him has been marked as "delivered" However, said box was not on his porch when he arrived home in Colorado. Somehow this is my New England dwelling ass's fault. Apparently, each time I send out a package, I should accompany said package to its destination and wait until the buyer is home, and opens the package before I can say I am done with the transaction.

This, on top of opening a jar I am selling and find a rather large glaze skip at the bottom of it last night should be the three anger causing agents of this week. Because it always seems to be three, sometimes it's more, but hopefully not. And I was in such a good mood this morning because things were finally looking up...silly me.

Skooed

This batch of crap I am selling this week is golden pricewise, but it brings out the crazy in a few. First I have a wackadoo who doesn't read descriptions.

Are all these marked?

3rd line of description. "Bottoms are marked _____"

Can I see pix (yes - pix) of fleabites. I tell her to use the magnify feature. She does this, and immediately questions me about yet another piece in the picture - does it have a chip? LADY. WTF? Does it SAY it has a chip? No? Well then there is not one. Fucking A.

I also had several newer pieces of the said pottery in question. I just lumped them in the "vintage" category because in the middle of uploading 65+ auctions I am not going to stop and go, "Oh no. Even though these are 30 years old, they don't fit someone's textbook version of what "vintage" should be, so let me waste this time moving them to a new category to appease the 2 people who will be butthurt about this"

First asshole: 

Hi, your vases are not vintage Fiesta, they are contemporary post1986 Fiesta, that is why they are not 10 inches. The original vintage vases are a full 10 inches. Here is a site that can help you with vintage Fiesta.

I reply that I am aware that of the fucking things age and that I simply just left it in that category and included measurements and a photo of the bottom so that someone could make their own deductions on the matter. I then thanked her for the message and edited the descriptions to say: Vase is not brand new, but is post 1986 Fiesta.

A few hours later I get this: 

Hi, that vase is post 1986, also has the H on the bottom, they marked some of the new peices after 1997

Dude. Did I not say POST 1986 already? What more do you flipping nuts want me to do? I have measurements, pictures and a description saying post 1986. Do you want me to go tell it on the mountain with my megaphone? Spray paint it on the side of the Freedom Tower? Fly a banner over the White House and the Statue of Liberty? Get CNN to run a ticker tape? What do you flipping want from me??!