Uh Huh

This seller took this picture of a pony lot (this is the only picture, and it has no magnifying glass function). He/she is asking $38 for this bag of shit, and you know some asshole buyer will take a chance on the unknown and then be pissed off when there's no super rare one sitting at the bottom of the lot, will complain, making up something such as "these smelled funny"  and will probably get the pile for free. But it's the sellers fault too for not showing every piece in the lot individually somehow, to stave off chance-taking idiots.

I have been that chance-taking idiot, but I didn't expect the seller to refund me for my stupidity if I didn't get what I wanted, which was rare. I am old-school ebay, you know, from the time back when eBay was like reading a classified ad, you had to go by the description, because the only pics were scans, and that was if you were lucky.

Then there's the seller that take pics with their iPhone, almost always blurry and the lighting sucks. The item will most likely be returned because it looked "different" than in the picture. IMO the buyer is stupid to even bid on anything that doesn't have a clear pic, or a stellar description that makes up for the shitty pics. If you're sitting in the courthouse waiting to be picked for jury duty and decide to shop on ebay using a postage stamp sized pic as your only reference, then you deserve the bag of shit you just bought IMO.
 
Another guy was using a template for his pony lot, and while he had lots of pictures of many angles, they were halfway down the page after the template took 5 minutes to load, and after seeing about 4 or 5 large pictures of some sewing patterns from what must have been another auction, and after a few pony lot pics, the rest were mixed in with copious pics of a guitar.

I meticulously examine everything I sell, describe it to the best of my ability, and take clear, pre-cropped, magnifiable pics, charge the least amount of shipping possible, ship it within 48 hours using grade A packing materials that I spend a lot of money on, and don't charge a handling fee for, and I get assholes such as the one I got last week that will try and tank my account over a minor flaw that either doesn't exist (I just looked at the auction pics I took on a 17" monitor with the magnifying feature and I still see no flaws on that damned bowl) or was so small that I missed it, while sellers like the aforementioned keep on selling. WTF?

The Asshole I've Been Waiting For!

Today I look in eBay messages, and see this:

The bowl and cookie jar arrived today. I am very disappointed in the bowl for it has several chips inside the bowl toward top and it has an approximately a 4" deep scratch in bowl toward bottom. It doesn't meet the description you listed and way not worth 47.00. I feel you described a perfect bowl but mailed an inferior bowl. I will be leaving a negative feedback. I feel you should refund at least half the sale price.

I am not the idiot that bid the bowl up to $47, lady. I am not the one who thought it was worth $47, lol. I listed it at $10. Also, the bowl had no damage when it left this house.

If it's in such horrible shape, then why would you want to keep it? This whole exchange reeks of "I want a discount".

Don't buyers think? Since she stated she's going to leave me a negative anyway, then why should I bother to placate her ass? I could very well just keep the money, fight her on it and be a total bitch, why should I bother lifting a finger since it won't make a difference anyway?

And...does this describe a "perfect" bowl?

No cracks or chips. 7 1/2" across, about 3" deep.

I reported her for abusing my return policy, which is you send item back, I send refund. I used the "wants a partial refund" complaint.

I messaged her last night offering full refund for item returned. No answer. Then messaged again this morning asking what she wanted me to do...no answer. So I refunded her a little over half and sent her a message again telling her so, and if she wants to return the bowl, I will refund the rest upon receipt, and after that fuck it, I am washing my hands of the whole situation. I've got bigger fish to fry.

Apparently I "bought" myself a positive feedback. She left me two glowing positives. I feel like I was extorted...she's going on the blocked bidder list.
 

Fakes, Forgeries and Etsy Cheap-asses

I bought a ton of vintage at the fleamarket last week, one thing being a full, sealed vintage bottle of Chanel No. 5. I have it listed for several days, and of course after someone has bid, someone else with little-no feedback messages me and says it's fake.

No reason why to support her claim, just "It's fake". I added an edit to the auction adding that I had gotten a message saying the bottle was fake, let the damned buyers judge for themselves. 9 times out of 10 a vintage bottle is only used for display anyway. Plus, the "informer" hasn't sold or bought anything in months, I am unsure whether to believe her or not, seeing as sometimes sellers of high-end shit will make several accounts in order to interfere with other people's business.

Then I log onto Etsy, and see a cheap low-ball offer for some plates I have on there. I had them at $25 to begin with, then I lowered them to $15, then I lowered them again to $7.00 to get rid of them and this person wants me to cut her a "deal". Deal? What the hell do you think I paid for these things? They weren't free! But since I have 3 sets, I think she may want all 3, which would give me a few extra bucks and free up space in my little kitchen cabinet...but ugh, I hate being lowballed.

Well, that went well. Here's the entire exchange. It figures she's from California, and is blonde. LOL

Hello! Do you think we could make a deal on this item? I just got married and im in college, plus our new apartment. Im still trying to collect and I fell in love with this set but im on a low budget. Hopefully we can make something out of it!

Me:
I have three sets of these, you just want the one right? I can go $5.00

Her:
yeah. But I can only do $7 total. The shipping is kind of what throws everything off for me

Me:
There's no way I can ship it to CA for under $10, it's too heavy.

What the fuck? Yeah, sure I love paying for an item, then wasting time doing a write-up and photographs, paying for the listing (Twice! because this same set got bought and then cancelled on me before) and then even MORE I love giving the thing away and actually losing money on shipping it. Ridiculous. I am willing to bet she's a pegasister, LOL.

Fleamarket Flip

Went and braved the fleamarket this morning in search of resale items. First table I hit, I hit last time I was there, I paid $1.50 for three things and turned 2 of them into $22.00, the other is languishing in my Etsy shop, but I don't think it will for long. Today, he had a pile of linens and among the linens were vintage hats and some purses. Some lady asked the price and he said a "$1 each in that pile"

She walked away, and I grabbed a purse and 2 hats, one is Italian angora, one is a brown velvet made in NYC. Purse was shiny black vinyl, very retro. As I was about to pay I noticed on the table that he had several old bottles of perfume, including a full, sealed bottle of Chanel No. 5. I asked "$5" SOLD. Then at the other end he had a near-mint snake or lizard purse, again very retro, I asked, "$8", again SOLD.

I then grabbed a few MLP in other spots (yes, I am an idiot...) and as we were getting ready to leave, remembered that one of the "junk guys" (read - box truck full of banana boxes filled with random crap) had had a peacoat sitting on his table that I had been hemming about.

I went back, grabbed an old velvet mod purse and a suede USA made newsboy hat, and grabbed the coat. I ask "How much?" He snottily says $25. I ask "Will you take $20?" and he informs me snootily that the peacoat is "real" and that he had had it on ebay for $75. I resisted the urge to say "And you didn't get that because it's here", but I held my tongue. I thought on it for a minute and thought "Fuck it, why not?" and bought them for asking price.

Now I feel like an asshole. I looked up said coat, guy must have taken crappy pics or something, because this thing sells regularly for about $200+. The purse and hat around $25-$50 each.

I will not dicker again. It's shitty. I am just used to being poor and trying to get rock bottom prices, and I wasn't really sure about the coat, but the buttons bothered me and it haunted me until I went back and left with it.

AND Ma's Burberry coat is still here. I said fuck it and measured it, and photographed it on my dummy. I want to ask her to leave it here so it won't stink and will stay pristine for someone. I may just ask if I can sell it for her. I hate high-end merchandise being mishandled, it's a pet-peeve of mine.

Dumb Phones and People Who Won't Do Their Own Research

I am a little fed up with idiots on so-called "smart phones" that take pictures at the auction house and that refuse to do any real research. I don't have a smartphone, nor do I have a need for one. My knowledge comes from years of antiquing, going to fleamarkets and selling online. I look at an item and know instantly whether I am going to buy it or not.

You know, maybe this is part of the reason ebay does crack down on certain sellers, because it's clear that some of them know nothing about that which they sell without the aid of the all-knowing interwebs and because they don't know what they're dealing with, half the time they don't know how to describe it or pack it correctly either. My mother is one of these people.

My mother uses me as her fuckin' smart phone and it's getting on my nerves a little. "How do you pack this?" "Should I buy this?" etc.

I have 8 minutes left on my pre-paid cell phone for the month, I am trying to conserve them so I don't have to buy more before next month.

This morning Ma goes to the thrift store. Text: "There's a Burberry coat for $10. Should I buy it?" "Well?"

If you've got to ask me then you know nothing about it and perhaps it's something you should not be dealing with, I think to myself.

Then another "It's in good shape" meanwhile my minutes are used up each time she texts me...then she fuckin' calls. I don't answer. She arrives at my door all huffy and bitches that I don't answer my phone. I then say "I've got 8 minutes left-for the MONTH!"

"Oh" she says, and then drags the huge coat in question into my kitchen and drapes it across my dressmaker's dummy and fuckin' leaves it here. Because, she'll "come back and take pictures later" meaning that either I've got to leave the fuckin' dummy sitting in my kitchen with the damned coat on it all day, or remove said coat and dummy to the spare room, only to drag both back out later on.

Then she'll be pissed off and be bitching later on when said coat sells for only $20 because she will
A. Take a blurry picture, only ONE, maybe two, if you're lucky, nor will she use the cropper.
B. She won't have taken measurements, and of course someone will fuckin' ask and guess who will have to give her the tutorial on how to measure it properly? (me, in case you haven't figured that out)

Then the buyer will bitch about the smoke smell once it arrives. She puts a "disclaimer" saying she cannot guarantee the item won't smell like smoke (but trust me, it WILL. Her, my sister and my stepdad all smoke like chimneys, there's a literal smoke haze that never goes away in that house) *headdesk*

People, if you smoke, don't sell clothes! Non-smokers HATE smoke smell and sometimes it takes several washing to get the smell out and if the item is dry clean only, that shit will get expensive in a hurry!

Also don't pack glass or ceramics in paper. Don't do it! You've got to use bubble wrap and packing peanuts. If you're fuckin' worried about the environment, don't sell shit that breaks or use that expensive corn based packing shit that melts. You can't just chuck shit in a box unwrapped and let it rattle around in there.

FedEx-Boyfriend

I am breaking up with friggen FedEx. I am sick of their crap.

Last month, I shipped a very tall lamp via FedEx because that's what the buyer chose to use. I boxed the son-of-a-bitch and then set it out on my porch...See March 10 blog "FedUp" for more details. Long story short, FedEx fucked up several times and wasted my time that time too.

This time I chose them because it saved me a bit of money on shipping a very heavy clock. Other sellers make a note of this: Not worth the savings. You'll get a shipping time ding.

I scheduled the pick-up for 9-9 on April 15. That night, the driver calls me and apologizes to me, says he forgot and that he was done for the day, is it okay to pick it up first thing in the morning?

One day, eh, okay.

Tonight, I get home at 4:30 and the fuckin' box is still here! I get on the horn and call the drivers cell. No answer. I call FedEx's toll free number. All automated. I call back and press 0 and bark "Box never picked up" and get a human. She puts me on hold, gets back on the line and says "Sorry, all our drivers in the area have gone home, we have to pick it up tomorrow" And proceeds to tell me that the driver that called me didn't work today, and didn't leave a note for anyone.

Meanwhile my buyer is asking why his package isn't being shown as picked up. Fuckin AAA. It makes me look unprofessional and inept, and it pisses me off. I explained to the buyer what is happening and wrote FuckUp, I mean FedEx a nasty e-mail but I doubt they'll do anything. I feel like I am going to refund the buyer for his shipping costs for his inconvenience at the end of this. I am mega-mega pissed off...

So here's the shoe I guess.

Strange Events

For two weeks I had lackluster sales and several deadbeats. Then Friday I started getting offers and buys out of nowhere.

I sold an apron, shoes, and a sewing attachment on Etsy.

I got paid by one of my Ebay deadbeats. I finally sold that monkey-on-my-back french clock, I got a reasonable offer on some Eames era plates. After I relisted the 5 day layaway item (as expected she never did pay, and then I blocked her), I got full asking price and full shipping price for it.

Now I wait for the other shoe to drop, lol.