Life Hostage

I think one of my biggest problems with ebay besides the one-sided feedback bullshit is the endless chances they give buyers to keep fucking you over.

They hold your stuff hostage, and they hold your money hostage.

Money and stuff being held hostage fuckover example: 
Negotiations with the German ass fell through. He filed the case on the 14th. We are at a stalemate. The money is held hostage by paypal, he holds the plates hostage. The only real loser is me. I am out the money, and out the merchandise.

If, in 19 more days, he hasn't sent back something they close the case, but God only knows who they'll give the money to. So until then, they are going to hold $204 hostage because this schmuck refuses to take a partial refund or send back the shit for a full one. He complained to me that it would cost him $50 to send them back. You'd think he'd say fuck it, send the plates back and at least get something out of it.

Dude, that's my policy! "Send back item within 14 days, buyer pays return shipping" He could save himself some money by just sending back the perfect two. I gave him the option. It's not my damned fault that he decided to buy plates made in Germany from the USA. It's the risk you take. I packed those sons-of-bitches in layers of bubble wrap surrounded by a shit ton of peanuts and reinforced on all edges with double-cardboard and charged him $10 less than I actually paid for shipping. Plus, I did not break them! Why the hell is this bullshit all laid on my doorstep?

Item being held hostage fuckover example:
This past week, I got a lovely 0 feedback deadbeat who hasn't paid yet...Unpaid item will get him tomorrow, but then they give the loser yet another 4 days to waste not paying before they close the case and let me sell the damned doll to someone else...probably at a loss. So this dick has the ability to waste 8 days of my time just by clicking his mouse.

Buyer Beware You Screw Only Yourself When You Open An Ebay Case

The German standoff has had me thinking about ebay cases. He really did shoot himself in the foot when he opened that case with a refusal to return the merch. When you do a preemptive strike by willy-nilly opening a case before contacting a seller, you lose out.

The reason being is now that seller has a defect and a paypal hold and now they're not scared of anything else you might do. You now have no bargaining chips. Their money is gone anyway and so is their rating so they can and will fight the case.

In my case, I am just going to let this asshole sit on the plates refusing to send them back and then just walk off with the money in 20 days. Ebay is already counting it as a defect, and I am out $200 til then too, so fuck him.

Had he contacted me, or had been willing to send back the two undamaged or taken a partial refund for them, we would have both won. I am not an unreasonable person.

I felt the 50% and shipping back was a good deal. Though he ordered 4 plates, he still would have two perfect plates, half his money back and all the shipping back ($65). I would have been left with enough to pay John his half and walked away empty handed.

But he wants all or nothing, and at the rate he's going it seems like he's going for nothing. IF paypal closes the case without refunding him, and I get the money, I still will refund 50% purchase price on principle, because he did order 4 and got 2. Unless he leaves me a negative or neutral before then, then all bets are off.

Hot Live Euro Trash

Worded like this, it sounds more pleasant, like maybe the title of a porno, right? The truth is a bit more sober.

A friend of mine came across a large lot of collector plates and old dolls. Said friend asked me to sell them for him, because he knows these things fell within my wheelhouse of expertise and he knew I'd bleed every last dollar out of them. He bought all these things for $90 total. I sold things for close to $1200...or so I thought. First, I got a psycho bitching about a shoe on a Barbie outfit:

Hi

I received your package
today and I am disappointed.
The dress is very worn at
the bust and is not as blue
as your picture.
Also the other shoe is marked
Hong Kong. This means that
It does not go with this .
I Bought this because I
thought it was a complete
set. ( I had an extra correct
black shoe). I now have to
purchase a pair of black
shoes. I can not return this
because I bought it for my
daughter's upcoming birthday. ( This Wednesday)

Please advise.

Total bullshit. The dress I sent out was nearly mint condition. Dark blue with no holes. I did not examine the shoes closely enough to see what country they were made in because I didn't know how anal-retentive Barbie collectors are. I also loved the "I cannot return this" schtick. Okay lady, you paid $9.50 total WITH the shipping included, meaning you paid like $7. What the fuck do you want? I just said fuck it and refunded her to shut her up already...after I did she said to me she only wanted $5...$5/$7 it's all the same fuckin' thing Jesus. I am out of money no matter what.

Then I send out plates. They were $148 and change. German bidder receives them and then 24 hours later opens a case with no warning, claiming "not as described" because two got damaged in transit. $200+ gets frozen in paypal. I had recently sold a belt for around $50 and since have sold a vase and some toys and my account is still negative. I cannot print shipping from ebay, nor send instant payments or refunds.

Of course this whole thing is MY fault...I obviously run the postal service for both the US and Germany you know. And to top it all off with the proverbial cherry, the asshole opens the case on ebay.de, which would totally screw over your normal everyday American seller because it's in German...this asshole hadn't counted on me being able to read it. But you see, I can.

I used to collect My Little Pony, and I had a lovely German friend who made trades with me frequently and I used to scan ebay.de for rare euro ponies, did a LOT of business there, and have taken a German language course because of those trades and purchases. I did have to use a translator for some stuff because I am rusty.

I respond to him in fluent German via his paypal e-mail address. Bet that shocked his ass...Guten Tag, asshole! (I didn't really say that, but I thought about it, lol) "I wish you had contacted me before opening a case. Please send back the plates for full refund"

He says no, he wants to keep them AND get 100%  refund.

I respond with how about 50% back since two are okay, plus shipping, and you keep them? He says nope, he wants like 85% and shipping.

I say then, how about sending back two undamaged plates and I refund 50% plus shipping? Nope, not having that either. So I stopped all communication with him and now have just left the case standing open 10 days later.

THEN my lovely Italian nutjob starts shit with me.

Hi, the doll is arrived but i noticed that: she has one leg evidently shorter than the other but you didn't that in the description.
Moreover, the other ear has slight green, other thing that you didn't told me...why?

Same day, like 10 minutes later (she likes to bomb with a flurry of messages like 2 or 3 in the space of 15 minutes):

 Hi, summing:
- the doll has one leg shorter than the other
- slight green on the other ear
- the booklet has two pages ripped in the center

Why didn't you tell those things in the description?
Anyway, i was going to put a neutral feedback. If you do not want me to do that, we can reach a compromise: a partial refund.
Let me know.

So she's going extort me now. Special.

My response:

 I took pictures of any ear green I saw, and took pictures of both her legs which were posted on the auction.
I did not notice any difference in the length of the legs.

The booklet was not ripped on any pages when I packed it! I have heard that customs agents can be rough on items. How much of a partial refund do you want?

Her:  

 They are so clearly different....
Also, the left arm is loose when you move it.
I've been collecting dolls for years and this is a real disappointment.
Anyway, i payed 102 USD, without counting the shipment costs obviously, so I'd like to have a 41 USD refund.

Me:

 I have sent the refund, but because it was sent from my bank account, it will take a few days to clear. Please check your paypal account.

Her (like two days later) :

 Hi, the refund has not arrived yet.
Anyway, i found various flaws and holes on the doll's left arm...

By this time I am getting more and more livid, because either she is the most nitpicky bitch on earth, or she's just an extortionist. I report her to ebay for feedback extortion and reply one more time:

 Every time you message me you seem to have a new problem...please just send the doll back to me for a full refund.

I am done with partial refunds. I already sent $41 and it is still processing. It takes 3-5 business days. Please check your paypal account and you will see that a refund is pending.

You can clearly see my frustration in this not-so-professional response, but how much bullshit is a person supposed to put up with? I already refunded her nearly half!  She now has her refund and has not left feedback yet...I am sure it will be a low-star or neg/neut beauty. This whole exchange makes me rethink working with Europeans on anything, but two bad nuts should not ruin it for everyone else, and cut me off from a whole pool of buyers so fuck 'em, moving on.

Most disappointing thing about all this BS is that it wasn't even my stuff again! A couple of years ago I got burned twice with my mother-in-law's plates, negged and lost $80 because of a shipping label snafu, and now I am out over $100 and have a defect because I sold somebody elses shit. From now on I will only sell my own shit and only for over $10. Not fucking worth it.