Derpy Muffins

 Today, I got the remedial class in my eBay messages. Last night, my kid told us he felt pain when he breathed in and so we took him to the ER as a precaution, because - Rona. This morning, my husband went back there for a suspected MCL tear. Meanwhile I had 5 auctions ending. There were 2 hats, 2 purses and another small accessory. Both hats sold and one purse. Each ended within 2 minutes of the other, in a half hour span.

A person who won a hat asks:

"I also wanted the record player. Can they ship together?"

I am like okay, yeah, no problem. Mind you, this was about a half hour after ALL the shit had ended - meaning that the record player had already ended with no bids, but I did not know this, because...ER - was kind of distracted, I figured it was with tomorrow's batch of shit that is ending. The whole day passes and then she's like:

"Did it sale? It has to be actively listed for me to buy it. I did not see it"

Lady, you've had ALL FUCKING DAY to bring this up. *headdesk* I look at my listings and there it is - unsold. It ended about 10 minutes after the hat. I relisted it with a buy it now about 10 minutes ago. 

Edit: She bought and paid immediately, said sorry did not know where her head was at - I get it. Me too, lady. Both things will be out in the morning.

Earlier in the evening I got this mildly retarded message with a picture of a dress I have for sale attached to it:

" Hello - I am intrested in this outfit as well as the wedding dress."

Uhhh okay? If you're "intrested" then fuckin' bid on it? She does have a bid on the wedding dress, but this other outfit - I could not begin to tell you what the fuck she is asking. Do you want combined shipping? Do you want BIN? What the fuck do you want? I am trying to think of a reply that won't sound insulting...lol.