Saturday, November 12, 2011

Happy Fuckin' Anniversary

I had to create a new ebay account the other day because my main account has been downgraded to subpar status according to them. I apparently need to be on call 24/7 for some idiot who has paid $3.00 for a used toy in case they want me to suck out their asscrack for them or something. Because of my downgrade they will only allow me to sell 13 items a month...I gotta live off this income! So I create the aforementioned new account.

I log into said new account, type out an entire auction description and upload a picture, and then it tells me in order to continue I must add a credit card to my paypal account. I don't have one.

Fucking A. There goes another half-hour of my life. More red tape from ebay.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Somebody Caught The Stupid

Well, this has been an epicly rotten week thanks to my old pal...eBay. First I sell an Argentine Alitas pony. This pony had brittle wings which fell off in the original package before I bought her. I glued them back on, and when I did, it made a mess. I described this in my auction and take 3 detailed pictures of said damage. This pony has remained on a shelf since I bought her, untouched for 6 or 7 years.

I pack up the pony in a hard plastic wipe box within a hard cardboard tube to prevent her getting crushed and causing further damage to the wings. I include the original back card.

A couple of days later I get a whiny e-mail from the buyer saying that the pony's wing has been damaged by an 1/8" piece of scotch tape I put on it to hold it in place. She also says the pony has a haircut and a black mark on the leg. This is BS and I know it. I made sure the bastard was clean when I shipped it, and there's no way it has a haircut...I was the one to remove it from the original packaging. Argentine Alitas have very short hair compared to Hong Kong/China Windy Wings. Obviously, she did not know this. 

She also accuses me of doing a terrible job packing it.

I get the pony back yesterday. It is wrapped in a shit ton of toilet paper, wrapped up further in tissue paper and the so-called damaged wing (broken off by now because of her crappy handling) looks exactly like it did when I took the pictures for the auction...i.e. no damage from tape, just like I thought. As I've established there is NO haircut and the "black mark" on the leg...it's not there. 

So, the fucking bitch basically had buyer's remorse and went on the offensive attacking me to put up a smoke screen for her real motive. This cost me $114 and has now fucked up my bill situation for the month.

Epilogue, 9/29/11:
I send the bitch her refund of all the money, even though she has not sent me the backcard and she has the nerve to message me bitching that she checked her paypal account and there was no balance and that she will be contacting paypal. Fuck her. I sent her an e-check on purpose because she's such a bitch. Go ahead and contact paypal, you bitchy twat. I am so tempted to stop payment, to wipe my ass with that TP she wrapped the pony in, and send the cash to her wrapped in it...

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Cheapers Creepers

This post is not really about ebay much per se, but since it does delve into cheapos who want stellar service for nothing, I added it.

Went to the local fleamarket this weekend with ass. This time due to astronomical ebay fees and lack of cash, we decided to sell there. We set up and open this cookie tin with his grandmother's old costume jewelry in it. A woman comes up and whips out a small loupe and starts examining one piece closely. She snottily asks the price and since she is a bitch, I answer "$3". She snaps, "There's stones missing, that's all it's worth" and stalks away. Another woman comes a few minutes later, picks the same piece up and it's obvious that she is in love with it. She asks the price; I say "25 cents".

I also have an old Uncle Sam cast iron reproduction bank, and a Pfaltzgraff bean pot missing the lid. I ask $10 for Uncle Sam and $1 for the bean pot(later, I lower the price on the bank to $5). I have people whining that Uncle Sam has no plug on the bottom (a 50 cent rubber plug can be bought at Wally) and that the bean pot has no lid. This cracks me up. It's a fleamarket, if someone is selling there, they generally are getting rid of crap they cannot use, or things that maybe aren't going to be perfect, things that need a little TLC. You're not going to find a perfect antique Uncle Sam bank for $5, nor are you going to find a perfect-condition-with-lid 40 year old Pfaltzgraff bean pot for a $1. They expect mint condition antiques for bargain bin prices...and I thought ebay buyers were bad.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Captain Insano The Pokemon Master

Well...I guess the ebay buyer pretzdothack aka im_a_loli is the featured nutcase of the month.

He bid on some used Pokemon toys. Paid on the 23rd, started squawking on the 29th, opened a case the 1st. I checked my e-mail just before I was about to send the box...saw that payment had been stopped and sent him a mail saying that I don't send shit out without funds in hand and had he bothered to read my auction terms (detailing that my husband is fucked up from GBS and I have a toddler, so at times, shit is late) he'd have known to keep his pants on.

He then argues with me that because my terms are on my about me page and not on the auction itself then he doesn't have to abide by them. I tell him that, if he had bothered to click on "shipping and payment" or "refund policy" then it would have directed him to read my about me page for full terms.

He bitches that I should use a template on my auction. I counter with people don't want to sit there and read auction terms, they want an item description. If after they read that, they decide they want to bid they can click about me for the details and bid or not. Simple. Not to this asshole.

He tells me that I have his payment and to send out the item, I tell him, no I don't because he fuckin' froze it. I actually use the money people send me to send shit out, not my own money, and since his payment is on "hold" now I no longer have the fuckin' money to send his shit.

He tells me I am being petty. Hmm, yeah. Asshole, your "hold" shitcanned an entire bank transfer...one that contained your payment and several others. I had to scramble to return cans and use all my flea market money to cover it so that my mortgage check would not bounce. Not only that, 4 other people got their shit late because I had to wait an additional 2 days for the revised transfer to get to my account.

He finally gets his money refunded and I think "Good, I'm rid of that nutcase" He leaves me a negative...the only one I have gotten in 12 years of doing business on ebay...another domino in the chain effect he already set off. Then, when I relist the Pokemon, he e-mails me under a new username bitching about me not using templates and saying thanks for blocking him...now in order for him to know I blocked him, he had to have tried to bid...LOL.

This guy is starting to border on being a stalker. I shot off an e-mail basically telling him that his life must really be empty in order for him to be harassing me over used Pokemon and then after reiterating my auction terms that he hadn't bothered to follow, I told him to get a life.

Ugh, if you're too lazy to click a damned link then that's your problem not mine. I state twice in each auction where to go for my terms. That's how I roll. Deal with it.

You know damned well that if that link was to some porno site he'd have clicked on it right away to take a look. Maybe that's what I need to do from now on. Put "look at my porn".

Saturday, July 2, 2011

About Me

I finally had a decent plan for catching up on my mortgage, I dropped a $280 check in the mail to start the ball rolling...then yesterday I log into paypal to find that they went and stopped a $43 transfer I was making because some frigging illiterate douchebag buyer filed a claim on something he had paid for only a week before.

I think the main problem with ebay buyers is that some of them don't think things through. They don't stop and think that these are individuals that they are buying from, not a fucking Wal-Mart Superstore, but hell, even places such as Amazon can take up to 2 weeks to send you something. I make sure that I spell it out in my about me page that I am caring for an ill man and a 2 year old, therefore I am frequently slowed down. I have never NOT sent an item. I did not get 100% positive feedback by being a deadbeat.

I think between Pete fucking with my support payments and this asshole inadvertently fucking with a bank transfer I felt it was the last straw. I was rather rude. I spelled it out for him in terms I thought his intelligence could handle no money = me no send item. Then I reiterated that the whole thing could have been avoided had he bothered to read my about me page. I am sure there is a mildly retarded response sitting in my ebay messages right now, but I am loathe to read it due to the violence it will incite.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Slow Boat To Shitheadsville

ANOTHER infuriating ebay transaction. She bought this thing 2 days before Christmas, she should have expected it to be sent the 27th at the earliest anyway due to holidays and P.O. being closed. There was a huge batch of these fucking bears I listed, and that was the only one that sold. I missed it, sue me. Several days later I check my paypal account and see that one has sold...oops. I fire off an e-mail to let the buyer know what has happened.

Jan 2nd.
Dear michele----,
Hi! You won my talking Cheer Bear. I did not see that the item got sold until yesterday, the rest of the auctions in that batch went unsold and I missed it. It will be in the mail tomorrow. Sorry for the delay!


I get this in reply several days later...apparently she can't read well or has a short memory:
Jan 8th.
Michele: Hello,You recieved my payment on December 23 20010. As of January 8 20011 I have not recieved my item. Can you please Tell me if you sent it ?

Jan 8th AGAIN.
Michele: What date will I expect to recieve this item ?

Now I am getting PISSED. How many "I sent it!" messages does this bitch need anyway?

Jan 8th AGAIN. Yup, 3 times in one day.
Michele: As of January 8 20011 this item has not been sent,you recieved my payment on December 23 20010. Please respond as to when I will be recieving this item. Thank You


Jan 8th.
Dear michele----,
I sent you a message several days ago letting you know that I had not noticed that you paid me and that I would send the item out on Monday, it was sent then and should arrive any time now.


Jan 11.
Michele: Hello, You recieved my payment on December 23 2010. You notified me that you have sent this item on January 2 2011. Todays date is now January 11 2011 and my item still has not arrived. Where is it ?

I did not say I sent it on January 2nd. I sent the MESSAGE on January 2nd, but I digress...I don't KNOW where it is, bitch. YOU did not pay for a tracking number, and even if you did...would you believe the fucking post office when they told you where it was?

Jan 14.
Dear michele----,
Here is the picture address to the receipt on the Cheer Bear. The last transaction shown on the receipt is yours. Parcel post can take a LONG time to arrive, especially since we live on opposite coasts. *link to pic deleted for own privacy and hers*


Jan 16.
Michele: I did see your photo of the receipt on photobucket that you say was sent out. I am sorry this transaction has not gone well for you. As of 1-16-2011 I have not recieved my item. According to E-bay the item is showing that it has not been sent, there is not a tracking number. Maybe you shipped it to the wrong address ? Or it is lost in the mail ? Maybe you should find out where it is. ;(


OMFG. You did not pay for a tracking number, I did not send it to the wrong address. The only way ebay will say it was shipped is if I click a link saying it was. Would it make you feel better if I clicked the fucking link so it said "sent"? Maybe if I click that magical link it will suddenly appear on your doorstep. Fucking A! How the hell am I going to find out where it is? Get into my ailing Thunderturd and conduct a cross country search?

Here's my "positive" feedback she gave me
great shape for being used. confusing communication, Slow shipper.


Now you've read these messages I sent her, what about any of them are "confusing"? Stupid bitch. Jebus, I hate ebay at times. This was all over a $5.99 teddy bear.

Say Hello To Your....CEO....Ally

 December has been jam packed with bullshit. I got a hair across my ass to search for the ponies that "Jennifer" from Winnipeg ...