Evil is as Evil Does, Sir/Dollar Dollar Bill Y'all

 When looking to find if any other people had had a problem with foreign returns I stumbled across the good ol' "Former Sellers" page. I can see that the more shit changes, the more it remains the same. Someone was verbally reprimanded for mentioning selling on eBay. Another dude was begging for cash to restart an alternate selling site, and OLA was still hanging around like a stale fart in an airport bathroom. 

There were random "buy my shit" ads from desperate board members every so often. 

The dude who got all crazy about eBay selling reminded me of the Charles asshole who blocked me from the original board: "Don't speak of the EVIL one!" 

It's like Mermaid Man on Spongebob: "EVIL!" with no real knowledge of what is actually evil. Example: eBay taking your fees = not evil. It's a service, man. You gotta pay fees for service. 

These two boards are the extremes of online reseller experiences these days. I fall somewhere in between. 

I don't think eBay is inherently evil, but their policies smack of someplace who is just trying to keep shareholders happy, actual customers (sellers) be damned. Problem is, eventually, they will drive off enough sellers that the place will tank. It's like say, watching a Green Bay or Kansas City game. You see the opposing team trying to stave off the slow moving avalanche that will become inevitable in the end...*sigh*. My really good Etsy sales and watching Mercari grow exponentially tells me this is happening.

I don't look at eBay as a "selling partner". I feel like they should fuck off and mind their own business - that business being giving sellers a venue to sell their shit and taking the fees for such. Take the fees and then fuck off - let sellers have individual polices and payment options, and reciprocal feedback would take care of the rest. That was why eBay worked. I don't know why it is so hard for the suits to comprehend that.

I don't believe in doling out refunds willy nilly just to make some entitled ass happy. 9 times out of 10 you are buying USED shit, and that is exactly what you are going to get and sometimes it doesn't pan out. I have never left a negative in the nearly 24 years I have been buying online - Dude that didn't send that .69 newborn Peeks twin pony in 2001, man, I forgive you. That price was bullshit. lol. (I was the lone bidder). 

I left a neutral one time. It was this past year, because the bitch cancelled, sold the thing to someone else on Mercari and never stated to me why she cancelled, had she explained what happened I'd have given her a pass. I found out myself when I saw the identical item on Mercari - listed as sold. I won't knock a bitch for saving on fees, but don't leave me hanging. I simply said "Be aware that seller cross posts and you might not actually get the item when you BIN".

Society has become entitled, and it is reflected in today's buyer expectations. 

Some of us are low volume higher dollar sellers, who go with auctions to force the money out faster because bills are due at certain times, and when someone wants a fucking refund, it tanks a % of our entire earnings for that week putting us in a precarious situation. Back in the day, we'd say "Fuck you. No." and a negative would be left and that's fine because that is how it is supposed to work. 

The Cheerleader board makes assumptions that everyone is high volume ("Just sell more!") and has a store. They LOVE spending money. They like doling out (free - fuck that shit) refunds, they rent storage units or build warehouses (good luck when eBay bans you, uh oh...lol), they pay accountants, they pay store fees, they pay promoted listings, they pay for software, thermal printers, expensive phones for the cameras. A lot of them sell clothing, electronics, and records/CDs/tapes - shit I would not come within 10 feet of because of the rampant returns. I shudder to think about how much money they have collectively given away and spent on stuff they don't really need.

I hate promoted listings almost as much as refunds, because I am also a buyer, and I hate seeing "sponsored" non relevant search results. No way am I going to give eBay an extra $1.00 so that I can be one of those annoying "sponsored" listings that pops up that has NOTHING to do with what a buyer typed into the search bar...uhhh no.

Business models are as different as fingerprints and I feel that the cheerleaders need to understand this. Also, sometimes, the buyer is indeed, an asshole. 

Rah Rah Refunds!

 Man, the people on the cheerleader board with their return policy nonsense...They just love gifting their profits to "buyers." I'm sorry, if you refunded all the money from the sale, it is no longer a buyer, it's a fucking panhandler and you just gave them a donation.

This chick was all pleased that she bought and paid for a positive feedback. Some dude commented underneath: "You can't buy positive feedback like the comments a customer will leave when you've bent over backwards to make an issue right. A single customer comment about how honest you are is priceless when other potential customers are searching your feedback."

But dude, she did buy the feedback. SMH. Also, a buyer might read that as "I can whine and get money back from this idiot" or "This person screws up a lot, no thanks". Usually when reading negatives I look at the seller replies left as my indicator. This is a brother in arms, I'm gonna buy from this dude. lol. 

Meanwhile me, aka as Attila the Hun am fighting hardcore this morning with my non reader of descriptions. I'm sorry. I'm not paying $68 shipping for some dude to get my cuckoo clock for free, nor am I paying $136 both ways shipping for him to "return" what he knew he was getting without an argument. At best, I may offer him the purchase price so that I am only out the $20 I paid for the fucking clock. As it is I am blowing up the Eschlong for Bidnezz messenger system asking them basically "Why should I refund when what he is describing as "problems" are listed in the description?"

I don't do this type of shit:

Just wanted to thank this page for changing my attitude when dealing with an unhappy buyer…a year ago I would have responded in a defensive manner bc clearly I’m always right…haha. Yesterday a buyer reached out to me saying she was disappointed in the condition of the item. I responded very politely and apologetic and offered a small partial refund. She was very pleased and will hopefully leave a positive review. I have y’all to thank for this!

 If I am wrong, I will accept a return, yes, however, if it is just buyer's remorse such as this one...oh hell no. I am not taking it up the ass to buy feedback. When this dude is done, I may have one strike on my account and also a negative, and you know what? I really don't give a shit. I am tired of the handholding and mollycoddling of buyers. Sometimes they are fucking wrong. 

Ciao Italia

 Today a buyer of a cuckoo clock opened a return case. Normally this would be eh. Not in this case, because the fucker lives in Italy, so the refund includes $68 extra in shipping. Yeah...no. 

I read his "complaint" and it is really kinda hilarious in a way because he is describing the exact clock he bought. 

He writes:

"The description speaks of "slight superficial rust on the chains and on the left side of the movement" but unfortunately the rust has affected the chains, movement, music box, temples and bellows in a marked way. The movement is BLOCKED, the chains are markedly rusted and the internal sprockets of the movement are blocked. The bellows, apparently intact, are unglued and the control rods are rusted. The furniture is only apparently intact but the humidity has folded the roof and damaged the chalet"

My description in the condition box: 

“Cosmetically okay. Movement has seized due to non-use and storage in a rather damp environment. Missing the 3 weights and pendulum.

 Item Description: 

Is driven by 3 weights. Pendulum and weights are missing. I got the clock from an estate sale where things were being brought up from a cellar. There is some fine surface rust on the chains and the left side of the movement. Bellows look good and work. Cosmetically, the clock looks okay. Definitely a small project piece.

He then sends copious pictures showing the "damage". In the pictures he sends you can see exactly what I already pictured in my auction description - nothing looks any different. *headdesk*

Now, we all know what ebay will do about this - exactly nothing. Instead, I will have to shell out for shipping it back which will then cost me ANOTHER $70, but like hell I am giving away $178 for something I described correctly and damage that was photographed. I said the movement was SEIZED - meaning NOT WORKING. I mentioned there was a cellar involved and rust, and you can clearly see the rust with the magnify feature on my photography. I also say "project piece" meaning work will be involved...if you cannot read a description in English, why the fuck are you bidding on shit from the U.S.?

I am NEVER selling to another Italian again. Now I can see why people block them - between unfounded complaints and a shitty postal service, no good can come of it.

If Ebay for Bidnezz cannot work their magic on this case for me, I am demanding it back, then I will fix it my damned self and break even on it. I will no longer be shipping anything over a couple of pounds anywhere outside of the U.S. I like my life to be bullshit free, thanks.

 

Arnoldo, USPS and other musings

 So...to my utter shock, Arnold paid for his shit. I guess I won't have to send him gay porn after all...maybe...lol. 

The USPS and eBay, though have thoroughly pissed me off this past week and a half. 

First, I'm pissed because eBay is now holding $522 hostage, reason being, the shit I sent has not been delivered yet. Though I now have a 3 month old, established account and I have never taken more than 24 hours to send something out. There's no solid reason they should be holding my money at this point. In fact, they had stopped for a couple of weeks, then the impatient Italian bitch opened a case. Me figures, that was the catalyst. Thanks bitch. First I had to pay you $52 on my fucking birthday, now you're causing a log jam the likes of which I have never encountered. I fired off a heated message to eBay for business about it. 

I have a doll outfit sent on the 29th of November still swirling the bowl somewhere - no updates to be had. Buyer bitched at me last night and asked "WHEN is it ever going to leave Massachusetts?" Chances are, it already did a long time ago, but is now in some distribution center purgatory somewhere in the midwest, because that seems to be where everything hangs up. 

I have 3 pairs of Mego shoes I sold on Etsy that were going to Colorado...the buyer sent a note bitching about where is his shit...dude, does it fuckin' say somewhere in my TOS that I run the USPS? I know about as much as you do! Again...it's going through the midwest.

I sent a doll on the 7th. On the shipping label it says "2 day shipping". It's headed to NC. Today, it's still in fuckin' Connecticut. DeJoy needs to be FIRED. The USPS is a shadow of its former self and prices are getting ridiculous and their lack of service is costing online resellers a bundle in bullshit "non-delivery" cases that are being opened on the daily.

Hey Arnoldo

 So fuckin Arnold G is back in all his dubious glory. If he keeps this kind of shit up, he'll start getting subscriptions to gay porn mags and his name and address posted on every public forum as hot and bothered and looking for a punch in the fartbox. 

I stupidly moved the doll back to eBay to see if I could move its departure along a little faster because I need to clear this batch of merchandise out. One bid, not Arnold - good. Closing seconds of the auction, the cocksucker used a second account to circumvent my block on him and won it again, a single letter in his name was changed, now the fucker is Arnoldo. It's going on day 2, and he hasn't paid. 

I have an itchy finger to press that "second chance offer" button but I know damned well if I do, the fucker will pay and cause a litany of problems afterward. I told Charley that I should send 12 ounces of dogshit to him, and wait for the fireworks as he opens a case "What do you mean? The merchandise you ordered was delivered." Because dogshit is what he's about to order.

I also have to wonder at this point, just how many suicides eBay has caused in the past couple of years since MP started and they can implement holds at will. 

I am in New England. It gets pretty cold here in winter. I am broke, so I apply for fuel assistance, I am still waiting for approval 2 months after applying and you bet I qualify. eBay is decidedly NOT helpful. I'm on 1/8 of a tank and I've got the money to pay for some oil - ON FUCKING HOLD.

I sold a clock last week. It's going to fucking Italy. "On hold until January 19" There went that $110. They basically forced a refund to another Italy buyer on my birthday yesterday because if I wasn't a good doobie and  didn't "resolve" the case by today (meaning pay some asshole because the PO screwed up) then the buyer "could ask us to step in and you'll get a strike". We all know that a strike means more payment holds. So on my fucking birthday, I get to pay some asshole in Italy, who by now has GOT to know that her postal service sucks, because she opened a case last week ONE DAY after it was due to be delivered and played dumb and acted like she wanted "updates" How the fuck am I supposed to get hold of Italy Post lady? You know I can't. So there went that $50. I am sure that fucking doll will show up within a week, but I could not take the chance of her escalating and she damned well knew it. Now I am refusing to ship to Italy. No more. The last batch of stuff I listed all had an exclusion. 

Also yesterday, I got a buyer who bought 4 things ask to wait 4 days to pay because I have a doll she wants still for sale, and then to top off the shit sundae with a cherry, eBay slaps EVERY SINGLE THING I sold yesterday that actually got paid for with a payment hold. 

So I have over $300 on hold, again. And now I've gotta buy oil. I have ADHD, OCD and anxiety disorder. Most of time, I have it under control. But between eBay's antics and fuel assistance, it's too much for me to handle.

I have been having a panic attack pretty much upon waking today. When I have acute anxiety, it's hard to concentrate and get things done. I am like, frozen, for a lack of a better term - I guess we could say pun intended now too.

iTeM sPeCIfIcs

 I have an issue with eBay's stupid "item specifics". There, I said it. 

The other day I was listing doll clothing. These particular clothes were for Ken dolls. 

When I was done, I got the now requisite "item specifics missing" message (because I am not going to say it is 1 piece, a jacket for a 12 inch fashion doll by Mattel named Ken, made in Tokyo Japan at 8:12 AM on a Saturday July 18th 1959 by Sukiyaki on machine 66, row 4 and after she was done Suki had some dango followed by a hit of sake then pooped in stall 1). 

These stupid specifics included a "required soon" (joy - required) this required soon was "type" NOBODY fuckin' looks for Ken clothes by typing in "fashion doll". I know when I am researching I say "vintage Ken outfit blue jacket" or some such shit - I don't specifically type that I am looking for 12 inch fashion doll clothing blue jacket - you know how many NOT Ken listings that would pull up? No fuckin' thanks. Item specifics, like Seller Hub, is clunky, useless, time consuming and annoying.

What is Ebay's "Money Back Guarantee?"

 In this blog I will provide a brief breakdown of what "Money Back Guarantee" means in something other than eBayspeak.

Example: Buyer wins item. Buyer sends money. 

Seller packs and sends item with tracking within fucking handling time limit. Item takes too long getting there. Impatient asswipe buyer opens case. Seller now has several days to fork over entire purchase price including shipping from their own fucking bank account or else the case gets "escalated" if case gets escalated, seller then gets a strike against their account. Meanwhile, during all this, eBay has already hijacked the money and is holding it. If the case is escalated and the seller appeals and loses - eBay then takes $20 more, as if the insult of having shit stolen from you isn't enough bullshit.

eBay guarantees that you, asswipe impatient buyer, gets your money back. eBay, however, does not explain that it's not them footing that bill...nope, it's your friendly, now pretty pissed off seller who has done nothing wrong, and will now lose out on merchandise, packing supplies and shipping costs. Merry Fuckin' Christmas.

Why There Are 10K Complaints at BBB About eBay

 Hey ebay. Here is a little bit of schooling as to WHY people are jumping ship in droves. Last week, I sold a bunch of stuff. Ebay implemented a hold on 3 select items. These items totaled $384 "pending delivery" dontcha know. Today one for $180 got delivered, and I got treated to this.

To top that off, when I checked my e-mail to see what may have gone to the inbox, I am treated to spammy "relist" messages. Uh yeah, no assholes. I won't be listing ANYTHING until you cough up my $400.

Ebay For Bidnezz

I answered ol' Arnold. I told him I would drop it by about $5 and that was it. No accusations, no rudeness. Customer Service Persona Y'all! He went away and left me a positive on ebay, lol. WTF? I guess he was shocked when I did not go on the offensive.

That same week that Arnold played his foolish game, an Aussie buyer bid $70 on a Barbie outfit and didn't pay. I filed for non-payment cancellation several days later. That same day, two hours after I cancelled the first item for non-payment, she fucking bids on and wins ANOTHER outfit. I said Fuck that shit and cancelled immediately using the address excuse. I am sick of my merchandise being tied up for days while I am getting dicked around.

I am pretty sure I have a live one this week too. She messaged me as soon as the auction ended: "Pack it well." 

I am like..."Here we go". I packed the doll (well!) and it came up 3 ounces over. FUCK.MY.LIFE. I void the original postage and slap a new one on with the correct weight on it. I did not want to add postage on my own in case it wasn't enough and she got hit with a charge - oh hell no, not stirring up that drama. 

Instead, what has followed was comedy of errors that only happens to me...

First, my local P.O. did not scan it at drop-off. Every single other box I dropped off that day was scanned. Of course this one did not get scanned, of course it did not. 

I go on USPS.com and ask for texts tracking it. Suddenly, the item shows as scanned - a day late! Now, each evening for the last week I hear my Muscle Man ringtone yell "My MOM!"and it is USPS telling me that the stupid doll is still en route. No shit, you don't say?

It FINALLY gets to L.A. and says "out for delivery" then suddenly it's "Missent" and is now circling the Greater Los Angeles area like an unflushable turd in a toilet bowl. Of course it was the picky buyer, of course it was. I am sure something stupid is coming down the pike on this one.

In other ebay BS news, nowadays when something goes unpaid or unsold on ebay, I raise the price and move it over to Etsy. My Etsy sales are fairly steady at 1-2 a day. The buyers on that venue are generally sane and are willing to pay for their shit. I've shoveled a lot of ebay unsold over there and sold it for higher prices.

I was kind of amused today when I was looking at my active ebay listings and it shows an unsold Care Bear and tells me to drop the price by $5. Instead I raised it by $15 and put it on Etsy.  

Hey Arnold

 So Arnold the deadbeat bidder continues to plague my life. Today I got a message on Etsy from some asshole named Arnold asking me to lower my price on the same doll that an asshole named Arnold bid on, won, and then cancelled on ebay.

This Arnold lives in NY and sells Halloween masks and Bewitched dolls. Oddly enough, Arnold the deadbeat on ebay also sells Halloween masks and dolls. Coincidence? I think not. 

I am sorely tempted to message "Arnold" back, and ask him why he just didn't pay for the fucking doll when he originally won it on ebay. My Customer Service persona prevents me from doing so. I will probably just politely tell him the price is firm and thank you for your interest. lol.

Kiss My Arse eSclong

 Today I sold a doll for $80.00. Within minutes, my high bidder cancelled the sale. His name is Arnold G_____ and he lives in NY. Arnold sells the same type of shit I do. I believe he thinks he is teaching a "noob" a lesson - or he has a similar item and want to fuck with the price. In any case, Arnold G is a fucking asshole for toying with my income.

I attempted to send my second bidder an offer to at least salvage some income, and was met with a red error message from eBay. Well, fuck them then. I listed it on Etsy for a couple of bucks under what I "sold" it for. From now on, anytime something doesn't sell, I am not going to relist, send a second chance offer or otherwise give eSchlong the chance to make any money off of me. It's going on Etsy. 

Are they the lesser of two evils? Sure, but with them, there are no holds, less fees and less shady bullshit from buyers.

Broken Wagon

 So after a year and a half hiatus, I am back to resale. First, I tried to get into eBay's famously mismanaged payments. "Your name doesn't match the one on the account". "Change the name on account" and "we can't verify". So an 8 year old TRS account with 2,000 feedback and most importantly, no payment holds is now useless. I start a new account. 

I am pissed about this - because this is the fucking 3rd account I've had to tank because of eBay's archaic policies - my original account was started in  April of 1998 and should have had over 5,000 feedback by now, but because of kid glove buyer handling, well, here we are. 

I start new account, and rack up some buying feedback and establish it. This September, I list a few things to test the water. Of course 3 of the transactions are international. I not only have to pay some money out of pocket for postal fees, but am told "funds held until fucking November and all the way to December 6th. 

This is utter fucking bullshit - especially since eBay KNOWS that I am the holder of the aforementioned 8 year old account. I've called, I've messaged eBay for Business, I've sent in tax returns, I've verified the bank account - no dice. Simply because the 1099 Paypal name on my tax return does not match the eBay account. A CS rep says to me "You need to change your name to match the account"(!). Like hell, I am going to drive 11 miles to the SS office and change my fucking name AGAIN so that you assholes can then finally add 2+2. No thanks. You can already see that I have the same birthdate, address, first and middle name and even SS# and EIN# of the account holder. The only fucking difference is the last name on the 1099!

Today I finally got payment for shit I listed in September. Assholes. After fees and deferred shipping labels, I got $78 lousy bucks from selling $140 worth of shit. Fun.

Also the wonderful fall update happened - categories for dolls (my best seller) are now just "dolls" and "doll clothing". All the doll boards I belong to are erupting with anger about their saved searches and not being able to find the needle in the proverbial haystack. IE they can no longer find what they want to buy. Joy. 

Unfortunately, the ones who do find shit they want to buy try and lowball you to death.

No more Best Offer. I am unchecking that box permanently. I am sick of the BS. 

I list a complete outfit for an obscure 80's doll - ballpark sold on it is $19ish. I list it for $14.95 because now that I look like a noob I have to price shit low to hook buyers *headdesk*. 

Asshole tries to send me offer of $7.00 on the outfit. Uhhh no. I decline. They reoffer $10.00. $10.00 in the hand is worth $14.00 in the bush, I can let ONE go. I accept, and then get another offer of $20.00 for a dress that has 12 watchers on it and that recently sold for $60.00 consistently. I decline and state my reason - then I remove best offer from the dress.

Then I get an offer of $6.00 on something else I had listed for $14.95. WTF? Is it fun to be insulting or something? I decline and counter with $9.00. They counter with the original $6.00. Fuck you, pal. I decline and then proceed to remove Best Offer from everything I've listed. Fixed that wagon.